The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most
by ice-woman
Summary: chapter 7! -- “Don’t worry, I know karate!” Ashleigh assures her as they approach the door slowly, eyes wide with terror. The door swings open wildly and before Casey can even tell what’s happening, Ashleigh pushes past her.... -- post end of the world.
1. awakening

**post-end of the world**. four points of view- Cappie, Casey, Rusty, Ashleigh. An experiment in p.o.v. and a wild attempt to show how the _end of the world party_ may stir up everything for the other characters.

**a/n:** Title's snatched from a _dashboard confessional_ song, because I think it's very appropriate for both Casey and Cappie.

* * *

That damn question resounds cruelly over and over again in his head, a broken record on repeat, tormenting him, _haunting_ him.

"It's the end of the world Cappie. What are you going to do?"

Flash forward to an eager dash off the roof, a clumsy tumble down the stairs, a breathless run to ZBZ, and a confrontation with a confused yet thrilled Casey Cartwright, whose heart was big enough to let him back in.

Cue the violins.

He shakes his head, staring hopelessly through the green glass of another empty bottle. He slams it down violently, causing the table full of red plastic cups and empty cans to shake.

He looks out around the chaotic mess that is Kappa Tau, a frown on his face and eyes red and glassy from lack of sleep.

The leftovers from the End of the World party lay before him in clusters; bodies here and there and garbage and clothes everywhere.

Had it really been the end of the world, he suspects the wake would have looked quite similar.

No one's stirred yet, and rightfully so. It's only eight am, and the party, of course, didn't die down until about six. He vaguely catches a glimpse of Rebecca, sprawled across the couch. He doesn't recall seeing her here during the party...not that he'd been extremely alert as to what was actually going on. He'd been very distracted.

The silly love sequence he's invented keeps running through his head, always ending at the same spot: Casey's face.

He can picture her shy, reluctant smile while she thinks about yelling at him, and telling him to go to hell, because hasn't he put her through too much by now? Haven't they had enough of each other?

No, _they haven't_, and that's exactly what makes his daydream so disturbing. It's so realistic, so plausible. _It could have happened_.

Only, it didn't, because he'd never left that roof. He never went to the ZBZ house in search of Casey, and he never got to see that hesitant smile develop across her face.

It could have been _that_ easy. But he never went.

Reluctance is his strong point, and he's finding it difficult to remember why he didn't go after her, why he stayed. He's afraid of getting hurt again, that much is true. He's never opened up to anyone like he has with Casey, and he can't have that taken from him again. He's afraid he won't survive another wreckage like their last one.

She probably hates him by now, and he's telling himself that it's probably just as well. If she despises him, she'll stay away from him. If she stays away from him, no one will get hurt. They can both move on and let go of the memories that seem to taunt him nightly. He can get some damn sleep.

He steps over a zoned out, half-naked blonde curled up in a ball beneath the steps and climbs the narrow stairs to his room. Two girls and Beaver are passed out in an ocean of blankets and clothes, another skinny brunette sprawled out across the carpet. He sighs, pausing slowly in the hallway at the body laying half in and out of the bathroom.

It's Max. He looks mangled and battered, like a soldier who's given up on the cause. He _knows_ that look. He's worn it so well. Sympathy for the tortured soul beneath him creeps over him, surprising him almost, because he's invested so much in hating him. Now, looking cold and frail and vulnerable, he feels bad for the guy. He wants to help him, to wake him up before the Kappa Tau's rise, before the whole school hears about Casey dumping him, but he knows that his face is probably the last one Max wants to see. Right after Casey's.

So he trudges downstairs, at a loss as to where to go. Eight a.m. is a terrible time for being awake. All of his friends are unconscious and it's too early for Dobler's. He's sick of drinking and even more tired of thinking.

He reaches for his cell phone, punching Rusty's number in quickly. He hasn't seen the kid all night. He assumes he left with Jordan, heading back to his own apartment.

"Hey, Cappie, what's up?" he answers, his usual greeting, but this time there's a harshness there.

Cappie blinks, pushing his way outside into the backyard. "Spitter," he replies happily, although his cheer is strained. He's forcing himself to be normal. Old habits and such. "I got a favor to ask you."

He can almost _hear_ Rusty thinking, can almost feel his little brother's reluctance, and he wonders where this brashness is coming from. "What is it, Cap?" he says at last, agitation lining his voice.

"It's Max," he says, surveying the landscape around him. Surprisingly, there's no one in sight outside. They must have all migrated into the house when the sun came up. He clears his throat softly. "He's in bad shape. He's upstairs. Figured you might want to come get him before everyone wakes up."

He pauses. Rusty agrees to come get him, the edginess in his voice fading away. Cappie hangs up the phone, wondering briefly why people are so astonished when he does something nice. He's never understood people's surprise at his actions. He's a _nice_ guy. He might party and joke a little too much, but he's not cruel. He's never been Evan. And yet, at the first sign of true humanity, people gasp, staring at him in wonder. Like he's broken a stereotype or something.

He'll never understand it.

Yawning widely, he kicks open a beach chair, parking it right outside the back door. He grabs an abandoned blanket that lays draped over the railing and lies down on the chair, sun beating down on him.

—

For a moment, Casey has no idea where she is. Her eyelashes are clinging together, fighting fiercely to keep her eyelids shut, and her hair is matted and sticky. She stares around the room numbly, trying to force herself to remember what had happened the night before.

The second it all floods back to her, she wishes she didn't remember. Her head's throbbing and the cuts on her arms sting, the incident with the manhole taking a backseat to the confrontations with Cappie and then Max. She winces at Max's name. Grief and guilt don't sit well together. And then there's Cappie. She's not very familiar with the feeling of rejection. She's been ignored, neglected, cheated on, toyed with, and disappointed, but not once has she ever not been _wanted_.

Being alone isn't the problem, well not _exactly_. She doesn't handle being alone very well, but she can do it. She's done it before, even if not for very long. But now, now that she's so certain that Cappie's _the_ guy, the only one she'll ever want to be with, she finally understands the phrase _depths of despair_. She can almost hear the advice Ashleigh will give her: _she'll find someone else, she's too good for him, he doesn't deserve her_, blah blah blah. None of it matters, because regardless of the facts, the truth is, he's the only one she wants.

How does someone get over that?

She sits up as she hears Ashleigh mumble in her sleep, quickly sliding out of the sheets and disappearing into their bathroom. Normally, she'd be anticipating Ashleigh waking up so that she could spill her heart out to someone, so that she could ramble and talk and possibly even cry without being judged.

But today feels different. She doesn't want to talk, _to anyone_. She's filled with an overwhelming sense of nothingness. Even the sadness is absent. She's not really feeling a thing.

She washes her face slowly, a conscientious attempt at normalcy, water washing over her wildly. This is symbolic of something, she's certain, but she's not sure what to make of it.

There will be a Panhellenic impromptu meeting due to Franny's impulsive departure. She's almost sure of it. She's also sure that she doesn't want to be around for the fallout. She finds no desire to share what Franny told her with the rest of the world. She's learning that there are just some things she'd prefer to keep to herself.

—

Rusty's on his feet the second he hangs up with Cappie, though sleep's threatening to knock him over if he doesn't fall back into bed.

He rubs his eyes lazily, yawning widely as he turns back to Jordan. She's still asleep. No need to wake her. He'll be back shortly.

The quiet kitchen is eerie and unsettling. Dale's usually awake by now, and it's bizarre not to see him standing at the stove, checkered apron around his waist and spatula in hand. He's really come to enjoy those chocolate chip pancakes, even if Dale does use cookie cutters to spell out, _W.W.J.D.?_

He slips into sneakers and heads outside, the usual Sunday calm washing over him. No one who's anyone is outside, because it's eight thirty on a weekend morning. Everyone's recovering, most people from Cappie's party, the others from another all nighter at Dobbler's or wild dorm party. Only a handful of students litter the Cyprus-Rhodes' lawn, and even they seem infuriated with themselves for being awake. Sundays are sacred.

He blinks back a laugh. Dale would be so proud.

He's trying not to think about Max as he rounds the corner to the Kappa Tau house. He's still not entirely clear about what happened between Casey and Max. Or Max and Cappie. Or Casey and Cappie. The whole situation's too complicated already, and he doesn't even know the specifics. He's not sure he wants to.

It's hard to be mad at his sister when he's not even sure she's to blame. But anger's always come easy to him as far as Casey's concerned. She's frustrating and hard to follow. His money's on the breakup being her fault.

As he pushes through the empty beer cans and piles of people strewn across the floor of Kappa Tau, he realizes his real issue isn't with Casey, but with Cappie. Max has been a mentor and more to him. He's been a friend, a confidante, someone who fully understands him. If Casey hurt Max because of Cappie, well, he's finding it hard to remain loyal to his big brother.

Max looks pitiful and small in the dim light of the frat house. His skin looks raw and there's a tear in the sleeve of his shirt. Rusty's head hangs briefly, empathizing with his friend.

"Hey," he says softly, knowing all too well the familiar lingering of girl-related hangovers. He squeezes Max's shoulder and tries to shake him awake. Reality seeps into Max's eyes, which blink incessantly in an effort to adjust to the daylight. He sits upright awkwardly, staring at Rusty.

"Ca..." he begins, attempting to explain why he's here. He adjust his words quickly. "I heard you were here. Figured you might want to leave before everyone else wakes up."

Max nods gratefully, but doesn't say a word. He looks like hell. Rusty doesn't ask any questions.

"There's a shortcut to the dorms if we cut through the back," he explains, leading Max through the rows of bodies and booze.

Max follows him outside and they both freeze at the sight of Cappie, lost in sleep. They exchange a look and Rusty hesitates while Max pushes ahead of him, most likely eager to rid Cappie from his thoughts.

Rusty sighs, feeling sorry for the brilliant scientist as he slumps through the sunlight and the grass, and glances over his shoulder to his big brother, snoozing carelessly in the backyard. It's unfair, he thinks, that sometimes the guy asleep in the lawn chair with the crazy hair gets the girl, and the guy who may really deserve her walks away empty handed and broken.

His thoughts turn to Jordan, sleeping gracefully in his bed, and he shakes the memory away. He won't think of outcomes now, because if he starts doubting and worrying, he'd bound to lose his mind, or Jordan. No need for becoming a pessimist. He'll have to make do with what little hope he has left.

—

Ashleigh sits up slowly, taking in the stillness of the room. Casey's bed is made. There's not a shirt dusting the floor, and her purse is vacant.

She eyes the clock. It's only nine.

She stumbles to the bathroom, wondering if she's still a bit drunk from the party. She brushes her teeth, washing the taste of stale beer from her mouth, and throws her hair into a half-hearted ponytail. Beauty will have to wait.

She dashes downstairs, still wearing her tank top and plaid pajama shorts. She searches the living room, but her efforts are for naught. No Casey.

She slips into the kitchen, making a beeline for the full coffee pot, a sure sign that Casey's here somewhere. She spins around for a spoon when she spots the coffee brewing culprit.

"Morning," Rebecca says, smiling a bit too sweetly.

Ashleigh frowns, not because it's Rebecca, but because she expected Casey.

"Hey," Ashleigh manages, pouring herself a cup of coffee. She looks at Rebecca over her shoulder. "Tell me this isn't decaf."

Rebecca shakes her head. "Like I'd be that big of a bitch."

Ashleigh smiles, brining the cup of warm liquid to her lips. "Have you seen Casey?"

Rebecca shrugs. "Her car's here."

"Yeah, but she's not," Ashleigh sighs, sitting down across from Rebecca, relishing in the comfort of caffeine.

"Something the matter?"

Ashleigh hesitates, _she really does_, because as much as Rebecca has changed, she's still uncertain about what to tell her and what not to. But she needs to tell somebody.

"She broke up with Max."

Rebecca's eyes widen. "Science boy?"

Ashleigh nods, the burden of the secret lifting off of her shoulders. "And when I came in last night, she wouldn't talk to me. It's just...not like Casey. At all."

Rebecca nods. "Maybe she's keeping something from you."

Typical Rebecca, expecting deceit and buried secrets. Ashleigh sighs. "No, I know it's because of what Cappie said, but she's never been so..." She pauses, her slip up apparent. Her eyes flash to Rebecca's, but she's surprised to find no hint of jealousy or even pain.

"What's Cappie have to do with any of this?" she asks, confused.

Ashleigh looks down worriedly. "He's the reason she broke up with Max."

Rebecca's eyebrows arch. "Seriously?"

Ashleigh nods.

Rebecca laughs. "Well, it's about time," she insists. "I mean, the two of them have been running in circles trying to get away from each other for years now. It's _exhausting_ to watch."

Ashleigh smiles, running her finger along the brim of the cup. "Well, that's the thing," she starts. "She told Cappie she was in love with him and he basically told her he didn't care. He doesn't want to be with her. But she broke up with Max anyway."

"Wow," Rebecca remarks head tilting slightly. "Crappy night."

"No, it's a typical _Cappie_ night," Ashleigh remarks bitterly. "She didn't want to stay with Max knowing she wanted to be with Cappie. So, when she left, I found Cappie and tried to figure out what was going on. He didn't budge."

Rebecca frowns, looking away slightly. "He's scared," she insists. "He's the most terrified person I know. He probably thinks that Casey just wanted him because she couldn't have him. He's probably just afraid of getting hurt again."

Ashleigh exchanges a knowing look with Rebecca, finding herself oddly complacent with their new pseudo-friendship.

* * *


	2. evading

a/n: Don't worry, this **is** a Casey/Cappie story, but I'm also trying to be realistic. There will be several Casey/Cappie moments coming up, but it's going to take a while for them to come to their senses.

thanks to everyone who's reviewed! I'm going to update this weekly, perhaps twice a week if I can.

* * *

Ashleigh slides past the group of freshman girls surrounding the kiosk as her eyes fall to the silhouette of her best friend in the shadow beneath the student center's awning. She reconsiders waiting in line, feet leading her over to Casey instead.

She sits down quickly, eyes staring straight ahead. "Not exactly low key," she insists, eyeing the people surrounding them. "Why are so many people out here anyway? It's the weekend."

Casey shrugs slightly, her face a mixture of nonchalance and agitation. "KT's are on probation," she suggests lightly. "No parties tonight."

"So everyone decides to play frisbee?" Ashleigh scoffs, ducking as an orange disc flies her way. She crinkles her forehead in disgust at a beefy guy who winks at her. She turns to Casey, her voice softening. "Look, I get that you may not want to talk about this, but for what it's worth, it really is Cappie's loss."

As Casey looks up at her, Ashleigh could almost _swear_ her friend looks exhausted with the conversation. Except, Casey never grows bored with words. She loves to talk. She talks people to death. It's practically the basis of their relationship. This new, quiet, half-alive Casey is beginning to scare her.

"Thanks," Casey says although the comment sounds forced. "But, it's not his loss, not really. I've tossed him around for three years. I mean, did I really expect him to say that he wanted me after all I've put him through?"

Ashleigh scoffs against her better judgment. It would be fine if Casey was just _sad_, but that's not the case at all. She's blaming herself for things that aren't her fault and basking in a pool of pity. It's the most _un_Casey-like action she can think of.

"Case," she starts before she can stop herself. "If you want to wallow in self pity, then fine, go ahead. But don't tell me that you're actually convinced that _Cappie's_ right. He's not, Case. You broke up with him for very solid reasons. _He's_ been the one playing games with you all along. And then he went and dated Rebecca and _even then _he couldn't stop obsessing over you. You met Max, and he became jealous, plain and simple. Maybe you didn't always handle everything as well as you could have, but you _haven't_ been stringing him along, and you know it. You _wanted_ to be over him."

Casey looks away quickly, biting her lip in response.

Ashleigh waits a moment before climbing to her feet, perturbed by the unfriendly silence. She's not sure what to do to help Casey, and without her communicating, she can't even begin to find out.

"Ash?" she hears as she starts to leave.

"Yeah?" she says, her voice almost desperate.

Casey's head turns to face hers, her eyes glistening with the hint of fresh tears.

"I'm sorry," she manages, fighting to keep her face composed, struggling with the desire to fall apart. "I just...I just need some time...." She breaks off, unable to continue.

Ashleigh nods, an awkward smile creeping over her face. She's always the understanding one. She has to trust that Casey just needs to deal with this on her own, because the only other option is that they've outgrown each other. She can't think that, although the fear tugs at her chest.

"It's fine," she insists, and she means it, _she really does_. "Case, I get it."

But she doesn't.

* * *

"Hey," Jordan smiles as he walks back into the bedroom, yawning inadvertently. He grins at the sound of her voice, kicking off his shoes as he stumbles back over to her.

"Hey," Rusty says back to her, leaning across the bed to kiss her lightly on the lips. Her smile deepens.

"Where'd you go?" she asks curiously, turning onto her side as he slides back under the covers, body bent into a sitting position. Her head slides into his lap, her bright blue eyes gleaming up at him.

"Oh, Cappie called," he begins, playing with golden strands of her hand. He runs his fingers through silky tendrils, mesmerized by her. "He needed me to help Max home."

Jordan blinks. "What happened with them?" she asks, bringing her hand to her forehead. "You said something about Casey dumping him?"

He nods, sighing. "That's all I know," he admits. "Max was pretty drunk. I've never seen him that bad. Something happened with her and Cappie, _I think_, although I'm not sure what." He pauses. "Not sure I want to know. But Cappie won't talk about it and I'm not about to ask Max."

Jordan sits up suddenly, eyes level with his. "You seem angry," she notes.

He rolls his eyes, although there's really no point in evading. He can't lie to her, and he knows that.

"Maybe I am a little," he insists, looking away. "Casey just crushed Max. Like it was nothing. Like _he_ was nothing. I mean he gave up grad school for her and she just ended it and now he's...."

"Whoa, wait," Jordan interjects, eyeing him curiously. "Rust, I'm not trying to take sides, but you don't even know what happened."

Rusty shrugs, looking at her incredulously. "You're serious? Max saw her and Cappie come out of a closet together. Then she breaks up with him and you think he's the bad guy?"

Jordan backs away, shaking her head.

"Jordan," Rusty begins apologetically. "I didn't mean..."

"No, it's okay," she says softly. "I don't want to fight about your sister. I'm just saying that things aren't always what they seem, Rust. I don't know Casey as well as you do, but from what I do know, she's extremely loyal. I mean, she fought really hard to keep me in the house and she's always going above and beyond to help everyone in the house."

Rusty nods, watching her as she leans back against the headboard, pillow nestled in her lap.

"It's funny," she continues. "When I first joined ZBZ I thought the girls were going to be fake and lifeless. But Casey's the most real, _alive_ person I know. I just think that maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Just look at us, Rust. Our relationship didn't exactly develop innocently. We both hurt someone we really cared about in the process. What if the same thing happened with Casey and Cappie? I mean, was she supposed to pretend with Max if she really loved someone else?"

"Okay," Rusty remarks at last, his head hanging. "I get what you're saying. She's just really easy to blame. I mean, Max was my friend...."

"So was Andy."

Rusty pauses, considering this. The parallels are uncanny and yet he just can't let go of the slight sense of anger still lingering. "I know. I should be able to let this go and understand, but I can't help how I feel about it Jordan. Something about it just isn't right. I mean, with your theory, Casey would be with Cappie, and yet she left alone, so...."

He stops, considering his words, contemplating possible outcomes. He looks up, eyes meeting Jordan's, and though she feels the need to comment, there's really no point. Her look's saying it all.

"If Casey left alone, then maybe you really _should_ take it easy on her, Rust."

* * *

He's drowning. He's _sure_ of it. He's trying to call out for someone to save him, for someone to _listen_ to him, but he just can't quite....

His eyes fling open, mouth coughing repeatedly as he jumps out of his chair and makes a beeline for the door. He'd forgotten about the sprinklers, and now he's soaked and _still_ hungover.

"What the..." he begins frantically as he enters the living room. The guys are surrounding the tv, a rerun of _America's Next Top Model_ flashing across the screen. "I fall asleep for two hours and you all turn into _girls_?"

"We're on _probation_," Heath reminds him.

"Yeah," Beaver joins in, reluctantly turning away from the screen. "Plus, these girls are dealing with _real_ issues Cap. The pressure to stay thin, the constant teasing. I never...I never realized how hard it was to be beautiful."

Cappie scans the room, bewildered, searching frantically for a scapegoat.

"I thought it was high time these boys gained some insight into the feminine mind," a familiar voice calls from behind him.

He turns blinking back at Rebecca. "What have you done to them?" he asks playfully. "Beav just used words with more than two syllables! It's not right! I demand you turn them back at once."

Rebecca's smile comes easily. He's forgotten how well she knows him. Used to know him. Whichever.

"Got a second, Cap?"

He nods, leading her upstairs. It's not awkward like it is with Casey, because he knows innately that nothing will happen with Rebecca. They've long since moved past the tension from their short relationship. Of course, that isn't making him any less nervous about her presence. Rebecca Logan is an extremely demanding and vocal woman. He's more than a little bit anxious about whatever it is on her mind.

"So," he begins, kicking a mountain of beer cans out of the way as he opens his door for her. "Here for some good ole' fashioned fun, Cappie style?"

He winces at his words. He sounds like a tool. Sometimes he hates the way he deflects, always whipping out a joke or sarcastic retort. Still, he leans expectantly over the bed, winking at Rebecca for good measure.

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest and cocking her hip to the side. She's giving him a look he came to know extremely well. She wants to be serious and he just wants to _not_ be in a room, alone with Rebecca Logan. Well, that's not entirely true. It's nothing personal. He just wants to be alone.

"Anything you'd like to talk about?" she asks, eyes narrowing.

He runs through a list of pranks he's pulled this past week. None of them affected her, and as far as he knows, Rebecca isn't dating, therefore he couldn't have offended anyone she's seeing. He turns to her, bewildered. He tugs at his checkered shirt. "Flannel," he begins. "Yeigh or neigh? I say yeigh, because honestly it's more vintagey than farmish, right? Or do I look like I'm trying too hard?"

This time she doesn't smile.

He blinks. "What?" he says at last. He's no good at games, at least not Rebecca's style of mind games. He doesn't catch onto her subtle hints and clever facial expressions. They've never been on the same wavelength.

"I had a nice long chat with Ashleigh this morning," she says pointedly, eyes jerking up at him.

He freezes. "Becks...."

"No, Cappie listen. I'm not exactly president of the Casey Cartwright fan club, but the fact remains that she's gone out on a limb for me several times. With that said, I...."

"Rebecca, really, _stop_," he insists, shooting her a warning look. "I meant it when I told Ashleigh I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it with you either."

"But, Cap...."

"No, I _mean it_," he emphasizes, because for the life of him he's not sure why he can't get through one conversation without someone dropping Casey's name. The girl's _haunting_ him.

Rebecca opens her mouth to protest, but slams it shut deftly, shooting Cappie a spiteful look.

"All that bullshit about soulmates and karmic synergy and yet you won't even grab her while you have the chance," she snaps, turning on her heel. "No one else is going to put up with your shit, Cappie. _You're going to end up alone_."

He should feel like he's been shot— but he doesn't. He's not feeling much of anything as Rebecca leaves haughtily, probably muttering under her breath because her plan didn't work.

He turns back to his disheveled bed, eyes not really focusing in on anything in particular. He knows she's right. He's no moron. But what's he supposed to do; pick Casey just because the alternative is no one? It's not how he imagined their relationship would work out. Casey's gesture hadn't been one of a romantic nature, it was a desperate act.

Sitting down slowly on his bed, he stares out the window, at a loss for what to do next. He can't think about Casey right now. He can't let the full weight of Rebecca's words sink in. And he definitely can't think about last night.

So he does the only thing left to do; he trudges back down the stairs and joins the boys on the couch just in time for the bathing suit photo shoot.

—

What she's come to realize during her spontaneous walk around campus is that Cyprus-Rhodes is much smaller than she's remembered. There's really nowhere to go devoid of people, even on a Sunday. She's already regretting turning her apartment over to Dale and Rusty. She just wants to be alone, for a little while anyway.

She spots her brother at one point, arm around Jordan, heading towards the ZBZ house. She creeps out of view, not wanting to talk to him just yet. She's not sure how much he knows about her and Max and she knows how emotional he can be. She's too full of raw emotion to add Rusty's issues to the mix.

Brushing her little brother from her mind, she tries to concentrate on her schedule for the day. Much as she wants to avoid the Panhellenic meeting, she knows she has to go. She already missed Ashleigh's big meeting against Frannie. She can't disappoint her friend again, especially after she woke up before ten to come find her. Ashleigh, of course, isn't the reason she's anxious about the meeting. Cappie will be there and she's not sure she's ready to face him. Then again, she's not sure she'll _ever_ be ready, so she figures she might as well get it over with. Ashleigh would understand her absence this time. She knows this, but it's not fair to her. Besides, she was the last person to talk to Frannie before her startling departure. She's sure they'll want to know what Frannie had in store for the IKI house.

The headache she's been nursing on and off since waking up rears its head again, and she wrinkles her forehead, trying to ease the pain away.

She slinks over to the coffee cart, grabbing another cup of coffee, her third so far and sitting on the small concrete wall nearby. No matter where she ventures to, she always ends up back at this coffee cart. She smiles. Must be karmic—

She walks away, not wanting to finish that thought, coffee in tow and eyes planted firmly on the ground. She doesn't look up until she's a good ten feet away, and even then she wishes she hadn't.

With a swift lift of her coffee cup she spots a figure in the distance, a tan and black blob dancing over the rim of her coffee lid. She brings the cup back down and there's no need for squinting. Messy black hair bustles in the wind and a thin figure slowly ambles towards her.

Well, not _towards her_, she's sure. But in her direction.

She climbs to her feet, ready to run, but finds that she's frozen, eyes cemented in terror. Time ticks away loudly inside of her head, numbers filling her mind, _one, two, three_. Each number corresponding with his steps. _One step closer, two steps closer, shit, shit, run._

He's ordering coffee and he still hasn't seen her. She pushes herself to peek. He looks just like Rusty did after getting hazed during his pledge stage at Kappa Tau. She winces, because the sight of him in such brutal pain, well, it's never what she wanted for him. Yet it's all her doing. No excuses, no blame games. She's done this to him and for that she hates herself.

His fingers stiffen around the neck of his cup when he sees her, eyes shifting from surprise to sadness to an unreadable expression. She's cursing her luck. He's obviously hungover. What the hell is he doing awake right now anyway?

Her lips open to say something to him, to apologize or try to make amends, anything to kill this deadening silence, but his eyes rip away from hers, a powerful gesture, and she thinks she might be sick.

He turns without another word, retreating, walking around the building they're in front of, even though his dorm is right behind her. He'd rather circle the entire campus than walk past her, or at least, that's the impression she's gotten.

Her hands tremble as her cup drops from her hand, a quiet _plop_ on the sidewalk as brown liquid begins to ooze out from the cup, circling around her feet, creeping under her sandals.

The sense of loss and disgust she feels overwhelms any sadness she might have been trying to shake. What Cappie did to her in no way compares to what she's done to Max, mainly because she's harder on herself than she is on anyone else. She's not ready to forgive herself for hurting him, even though she doesn't regret a single word. It was better to tell him the truth, rather than string him along out of fear, wasn't it?

She's doubting everything now. She doesn't want to be with Max, but she doesn't want him to be like that. She wants to make everything perfect, because that's what she does. She's Casey frickin' Cartwright and she weaves everything she touches into gold, or so she thought.

Now, she finds that she barely recognizes herself. Cappie hates her, she's destroyed Max, and after he catches wind of the situation, she's sure Rusty will blame her. She keeps flaking out on Ashleigh and now that Frannie's gone, she finds the familiar setting of Cyprus-Rhodes too small, too suffocating.

She stares down in astonishment at the mess of coffee enveloped around her. She's even ruined her shoes and _she doesn't care_, a Casey Cartwright first.

* * *

reviews rock my world.


	3. pretending

Thank you so much for all of the encouraging reviews!

* * *

"How you doing?" Rusty asks quietly, pushing open the unlocked door. He wrinkles his nose at the smell that permeates the room around him, flicking on the light switch a bit hesitantly.

"Been better," Max manages at last, crawling to the edge of his bed. Rusty watches awkwardly as Max forces himself to sit up, hair sticking to his damp face.

"Here," Rusty remarks, handing him the supplies in his hand. "Hangover essentials. Coffee, water, and advil."

Max flashes him a quick smile. "Thanks," he replies, opening the coffee quickly. "I went out once to get some coffee, but..." his voice trails off, eyeing Rusty peculiarly.

Rusty shrugs, sitting down next to him. "It's fine. I mean, yeah Casey's my sister, but you can talk about it."

Max nods, inwardly debating. Rusty waits.

"Casey was at the coffee cart," he says after a moment. "I kind of panicked. Ran all the way through the liberal arts dorms to get back here."

Rusty laughs nervously. "_Kind of panicked_?"

"Okay, I completely freaked out," he admits, shaking his head. He reaches for the bottle of advil, popping two pills into his mouth.

"You'll be okay," Rusty says, not because he believes this, but because he's not sure what else he's to say. He wants to tell Max he knows this from prior experience, but Casey's dated only two other guys that he knows of and both of them seem worse off without her. He convinces himself that Max is different. "I mean, you worked for _NASA_," he adds quickly as if that proves his theory of Max surviving life post-Casey.

Max laughs, the first genuine laugh he's heard from him in the past two days. "Maybe," he replies a bit reluctantly. "I think I'm leaving Rust."

Rusty blinks. "For break? Well, no one stays here over Thanksgiving break anyway. I figured it'd be the same way for the grad students. I mean, I know...."

"No, no," Max remarks, shaking his head. "I think I'm _leaving_," he emphasizes. "I'm putting grad school on the back burner for the moment. I'm going to California I think. Who knows, maybe I'll get another offer from Cal-Tech? But, I need to get away. I can't stay here."

Rusty nods slowly, processing this information. "You're not even going to finish the semester?"

Max shrugs. "Maybe I can transfer. Or finish online. Or maybe I'll just start fresh in the spring, somewhere different."

"Whoa, Max, you're not thinking clearly. Give it a few days and I'm sure that by then you'll see that...."

"No, Rusty, _I am_ thinking clearly," Max insists. "For the first time I realize what a terrible mistake I made. I mean, Cal-Tech was my _dream_ school. I gave that up for something as fleeting as a potential relationship. I missed out on so much by making such a stupid decision. The sooner I leave here, the better."

Rusty slides off the bed, dizzy from all of his newly acquired information. "But Casey was your _dream_ girl, wasn't she? I mean, it didn't work out, but do you actually regret it?"

Max pauses, eyes rolling off of Rusty and onto the floor. "Rust, she's your sister..."

"No, I know, but...I just need to know."

Max nods once, eyes locking back onto Rusty's. "You don't lose your dream girl, Rust. If you're meant to be with someone, you _will_ be with them. You shouldn't put your live on hold or have to skip classes or change just because you think it'll make the relationship stronger. _It won't_. You have to look out for yourself first, Rusty. Otherwise, you'll find that at the end of the day, you're left with _nothing_. The guys like Evan and Cappie, they always get the girl, Rust. Guys like us...well, we don't get girls like Casey...."

"Or Jordan," Rusty mumbles feebly, suddenly overcome with the urge to flee.

"What?" Max crinkles his forehead in confusion.

"Nothing," Rusty insists, shaking his head back and forth. "I just...I have to go. O. Chem. I really need to study if I want to get even a C."

Max nods understandingly. "Take care of yourself, Rust," he remarks, patting Rusty on the shoulder.

Rusty nods, grinning back slightly. "I'm really going to miss you," he admits. "I mean, the only other science major I know is Dale and he's a bit..."

"Intense?" Max offers.

"Yeah," Rusty nods.

Max smiles back. "You'll be fine, too Rust. Just keep your head in your classes. O. Chem's critical to the rest of your academic success. Without it..."

"I know, I know," Rusty nods. "_Technician_." He shudders at the word. "I'll figure something out."

"Yeah," Max agrees. "Don't be stupid, Rust. Don't let some girl come between you and your dream. You won't know what you're giving up until it's too late."

Rusty nods, backing slowly out of Max's room, leaning awkwardly against the wall once outside.

* * *

"What about if we put them through a series of contests, like, like..."

"Like Survivor?" Fisher offers.

Ashleigh tilts her head. "Well, I was thinking more like _America's Next Top Model_, but that works too."

Fisher laughs at her as she purses her lips. "You'll figure something out."

"See, if they didn't go and get themselves all IKI-fied in the first place, then we wouldn't be in this mess," she sighs. She slams down the letter in her hand, cocking her head towards Fisher. "Can you be my Casey and tell me what you think I should do?"

He laughs again, shaking his head at her.

She pouts shamelessly, her forehead crinkling when she realizes he won't help her.

"You're the president," he insists, sliding his arm around her waist. "I'm no good at all of this Greek stuff. The girls elected _you_ for a reason."

"Total and utter failure," she remarks, stuffing the letter back into the envelope. "I think they _want_ me to fail. They want me to run ZBZ straight into the ground!"

"Uh huh," Fisher remarks. He's patronizing her. She knows this, but she feels the need to continue complaining anyway.

"Maybe that's exactly what they want," she remarks bitterly.

"Right," Fisher replies, rolling his eyes. "That makes sense."

Ashleigh shrugs, looking away in exasperation.

"You know what I _love_ about you?" he continues, kissing her cheek lightly.

"My stunningly _blank_ track record as president of anything?" she offers.

"Your confidence."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm being whiny."

He nods, grinning. "I have to go. I can't miss another biology lecture." He kisses her quickly, pulling away reluctantly. "And Ash, maybe the fact that you don't have any experience is what made them elect you. I mean, you're new at this, but you've seen enough of this whole political scheme to know what's right and what's wrong. They trust you."

"Yeah," she nods, caving in. "You're right. It's just a lot of pressure sometimes. I wish Casey would..."

"Stop with the Casey," he insists, pausing by the ZBZ front door. "You can't rely on her for everything Ash. She's your best friend, but she's not your advisor. You don't need her permission to do anything. She's stepped back and let you run the house. You can't keep running back to her."

She nods again, feeling childish as Fisher disappears outside. She turns her attention back to the envelope in hand, rethinking the former ZBZ girls' request to rejoin the sorority. She's guessing she'll have to have reached a decision in time for the Panhellenic meeting in an hour, but she's not sure what to do. Frannie would laugh and never allow the girls back in. Casey would probably let them in, with stipulations, of course. But, she's not sure what _she _should do, or what's best for the sorority.

She sighs, eyeing the clock anxiously. There's been no sign of Casey since earlier that morning. She's hoping she'll show up to the meeting, although now she's wondering if maybe Fisher's right. Maybe she does rely on Casey too much.

But hadn't Casey relied on her? Isn't that what friends did? It was beginning to grate her, the fact that everyone seemed convinced that she was still Casey's little sidekick. Their friendship had never been like that, at least not the way she saw it.

Of course, she may not have been looking as closely as she ought to have been.

* * *

"I'm not following..."

Cappie sighs, hanging his head as he loosened his grip around Rusty's shoulders. "Okay," he attempts again. "Only _one_ girl can win, Spitter. But they're all like mega-hot. And there's always one super bitchy girl who _thinks _she's mega-hot, but..."

"But really isn't?"

"No!" Cappie remarks, covering his face in his hands. "Spitter, they're _all_ mega-hot!"

Rusty shakes his head as Cappie slides his arm off of his shoulders. "I still don't get it Cap."

Cappie shrugs. "With time comes wisdom my young padawon," he remarks, giving up all hope of explaining the appeal of _America's Next Top Model_ to the confused sophomore. "So," he begins again, changing the subject. "Care to accompany me to a stuffy, mind-numbing meeting of the leaders of our fine campus Greek system?" In other words, he's begging Spitter to tag along to the meeting in a last minute effort to avoid any Casey drama. Ashleigh's bound to be there and he highly doubts she'll be pleased to see him.

"Uh, well, I have this O. Chem thing and..."

"Perfect!" Cappie remarks, exhaling a small sigh of relief. "The meeting will take _no_ time at all."

Rusty groans as Cappie drags him by the collar, pulling him along fiercely. He's spent so much time helping his other brothers that sometimes he forgets how to ask for help himself. He can't face Ashleigh alone, not right now. He also can't flat out ask Rusty to help him out, because he's _Casey's brother_ and why the hell did they have to be related anyway?

"You _dragging_ me along wouldn't have anything to do with a certain brunette ZBZ president who coincidentally happens to be Casey's best..."

"_No_," Cappie cuts him off, but not quickly enough. He doesn't want to hear the damn _C_ word. "Look, these meetings are integral parts of Greek life and..."

"Yeah, sure Cap..."

"_And_ if you'd let me finish," he remarks, glaring at Rusty. So Rusty's right. He's hiding. He can still continue to evade all he wants to. "I've never brought anyone to one of these meetings. Except for Beaver once after he saw _The Notebook_. He had separation anxiety. But, the _point_ is, attending these meetings is a very, uh _presidential _affair." He stops there. Where the hell was he going with all of this? He has himself lost.

"_Presidential_?" Rusty stutters, and Cappie can tell by the size of his pupils that he's excited about something.

"Uhhh," is all Cappie manages, because it seems like Rusty's aware of more than he is at this point. "Yeah?" he remarks questioningly.

"As in _me_?" Rusty asks grinning.

Cappie blinks. "Uhhh uh huh." He turns away, confused. Spitter must be playing some sort of game.

"_Really?!_"

Cappie eyes him quickly. "Yes, really," he replies, though he's not sure what he's just agreed to.

"Wow," Rusty breathes, smiling from ear to ear. "President Rusty Cartwright. I could have my own..."

Cappie's mind comes to a dead halt. "Whoa, whoa, _Spitter_, what I _meant_ was..."

"Yeah, I know it's not official," Rusty nods. "I get it. You have to keep it _secret_."

"Well, Spitter, it's just that..." his voice fades as he considers the idea. The kid_ is _insanely organized. All the pledges seem to like him. He'd _suck_ as social chair, but president? It's just a crazy enough idea to work. "Look," he begins again. "I can't promise anything, but let's just say I'll see what I can do."

Rusty grins. "Thanks Cap. I never imagined that one day I'd be President of Kappa Tau. I mean..."

"You're doing a fantastic job of not getting ahead of yourself," Cappie mutters as they walk into the Panhellenic meeting. His eyes quickly sweep the room. There's an empty chair next to Ashleigh and another one near Evan. He fights the eye roll that seems to come all too easily. He knows he has to sit next to Ashleigh, mostly to keep up appearances.

"That seat is..." Ashleigh begins as he slides into it.

"Reserved?" he interrupts. "Why thank you, _you're too kind_."

Her eyes narrow and he waits for her snide remark, but nothing comes. She merely turns away, tuning him out.

"What's he doing here?" Evan remarks, eyeing Rusty strangely as the kid sits awkwardly next to him.

Cappie smirks. "What's the matter, Chambers? Afraid he'll come up with a better winter formal theme than you?"

Evan's eyes meet his quickly and they exchange the briefest of amused looks before sliding back into the roles they've played flawlessly for the past three years.

"Isn't this a _presidents_ _only _meeting?" Evan remarks, raising an eyebrow.

Cappie starts to respond but stops as Janette rushes into the room, quickly scurrying to the head of the table nearest to him.

Janette eyes Ashleigh. "Where's...."

"Here!" a rushed voice calls out. Cappie's eyes flicker to the door and he can feel his heart rate increase as Casey enters the room, a bit unsteadily. He knows she's seen him, but she's making every effort to avoid looking in his direction, a very difficult feat, considering he's only inches away from Janette.

Casey shoots an awkward smile to Ashleigh as she hands Janette a note which he later learns is from Frannie. She falters slightly as she spots her brother, confusion etched into her forehead.

"Rusty, what are you..."

"Cappie brought me," he grins widely. "Apparently I'm _president_ material."

Casey sucks in a laugh just as Cappie does, and he feels her eyes meet his instinctively. They've always had the same sense of humor, the same acknowledgment of when something was innately funny. And something about Rusty Cartwright leading the Kappa Tau frat house, well, it was just _ridiculously _funny.

Her eyes sweep away from him quickly and he can feel the tension between she and him rise to a new level. She let her defenses down, if only for a second. He can be certain she won't make the same mistake again.

"_You_," she manages, "President?"

Cappie blinks. He can almost hear the doubt in her voice, as if she's figured out his rouse. Perhaps on some level she really knows why Rusty is there, knows that he couldn't face Ashleigh, let alone her. Bringing Rusty means maintaining peace. After all, he's the common ground between the two of them.

But she can't know this, know that he was terrified of facing her. He can't let her think he's nervous.

So he does what he has to in order to defend his reputation.

"Spitter here has more potential than you're aware of," he says, and the words are threatening, as he realizes too late. He's just dragged Rusty into their war, by claiming to know the kid best. He wishes he could shove the words back in his mouth. He hasn't meant to hurt her.

Ashleigh snorts, undoubtedly smelling his desperation and mocking him. She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "_Whatever_," she remarks, looking past him.

—

"Well," Ashleigh begins anxiously as they approach the ZBZ house. "What did you think?"

Casey pulls herself out of her own thoughts, staring at Ashleigh vacantly. She flashes an apologetic grin. "About...?"

"The meeting!" Ashleigh remarks intensely, as if this should clue Casey into whatever tidbit she wants her opinion on.

Casey's mind flashes back to the meeting. She has spent most of her time staring at the puke green carpet in an effort to avoid looking at Cappie. She left early, sneaking out to grab another cup of coffee. That coffee cart had become a sanctuary of sorts to her.

"Um...it was, uh..."

"_Casey_," Ashleigh remarks, obviously hurt and annoyed. "My idea?"

Casey pops back into reality. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry Ash!" she exclaims, wondering why she's become so introspective as of late. "It was definitely uh, _interesting_."

"That's it?" Ashleigh pauses, looking disappointed. "Interesting? That's all you have to say."

"Well, I just...I don't get it, I guess," Casey replies slowly.

Ashleigh pauses, taking her hand off of the front door knob. "Case, I know Frannie may have blackmailed some of them, but these girls betrayed us. Just letting them back in and putting them on probation isn't good enough. And not allowing them back in, well, that just seems rather mean and _Franny-like._"

"But having them rush all over again?" Casey questions.

Ashleigh shrugs. "It gives them almost a year to think about what they've done. There's no room in the house for them right now. It's up to next year's president who gets in and who doesn't. It'll be a relatively clean slate for them."

Casey considers her friend's option. "That is true," she nods. "I mean what they did is no better than what Jen K. did last year...."

"Exactly," Ashleigh nods. She smiles.

Casey grins back. "Good job, Prez," she remarks as they walk inside.

"Thanks. I thought it was brilliant!" Ashleigh embellishes, laughing slightly.

Casey pauses before the staircase, a crowd of girls to her left.

"Jordan?" Casey remarks, walking over to her little sister. "What's wrong?" She's surrounded by a group of pledges, all looking concerned and upset.

Jordan stands up, wiping her right eye with her sleeve. Casey stiffens.

"Do you have a second?" she asks.

Casey nods mutely, leading Jordan into the living room. She sits down next to her, worried. "What happened?"

Jordan wipes her other eye, taking a moment to concentrate on breathing. "Rusty, he...he..."

"No," Casey remarks, utterly baffled. "He broke up with you?"

Jordan nods timidly. Casey puts her arm around the girl awkwardly. She's never been good with comforting others. "But why?" Her brother had been head over heels for the girl. He'd even ruined a friendship for her.

Jordan shrugs. "He said it had to do with you and Max and..."

Casey blinks in surprise. "I...I don't understand."

Jordan sighs lethargically. "Me neither," she mutters sadly. "One minute he's fine and then he goes to talk to Max and he's all dramatic about having to concentrate on school and I don't get it, because I've never kept him from his classes or anything. He said he has to focus on doing well in class and I'm taking up too much of his time...like I'm disposable or something."

Casey shakes her head. "Are you _sure_ you heard him right? I mean Rusty's..."

She stops as Jordan looks at her incredulously.

"He said something about the girl always leaving and that he didn't want to risk getting hurt and end up giving up grad school. It doesn't even make sense."

Casey looks up slowly. She could _kill _him. She turns to Jordan as she rises to her feet. "Wait here," she replies.

"Case," Ashleigh begins as she head towards the door. Casey pauses, fuming. She could _kill_ Max. The thought's stuck on repeat in her brain. "What happened?"

Casey crosses her arms, head spinning with the new knowledge she's acquired. She's not sure what to _do_. She _always_ knows what to do.

"Rusty," she begins in mid-thought. "Rusty broke up with Jordan."

"_What_?" she remarks in surprise. "Rusty...broke up with _Jordan_?"

Casey nods, anger growing inside of her. "Because of something _Max_ said."

Ashleigh blinks back in shock. "Max?"

"Yeah, apparently he and Rusty had a nice little chat."

"Ouch," Ashleigh sympathizes.

"I mean, I get it, I hurt him," Casey begins quickly, "but where does he get off telling Rusty to break up with Jordan before she leaves him?! I could _kill_ him."

"What are you going to do?" Ashleigh asks a bit hesitantly.

Casey shrugs, peering back into the living room where a heartbroken Jordan sits sulking. "I don't know," she admits. "I have to fix this. I just...I don't know how."

"Can I make a suggestion?"

Casey looks up in surprise. She's the one always giving out advice, not Ashleigh. "Sure," she replies a bit awkwardly.

"I saw Rusty heading towards Kappa Tau on our way over here."

"So?"

"So, Case, go make him realize what a dumbass he's being!" Ashleigh remarks. "If _anyone_ can persuade him to see what a huge mistake he's made, it's you."

Casey nods, a slight grin on her face. "You're right Ash," she says, taking off through the front door. She pauses briefly on the steps, her conversation in the closet flashing back to her. She cringes. Maybe she _used_ to be persuasive but—

She lets her anger replace any uneasiness she's feeling. There isn't time for her to slip back into self-deprivation. She has to help her little sis. It's the very least she can do.

Even if it means barging into Kappa Tau.

* * *

Reviews are love! I'm nearly done the next chapter!


	4. confronting

Sorry it took so long...I literally had this chapter finished before deciding to go a _different_ route with it. If it helps, this segment is especially long! And thanks once again for the many reviews! You guys rock!

* * *

"If anybody asks, that's _tea_."

Rusty grins as he accepts the red plastic cup from Cappie, laughing at the five pitchers of beer they only just finished combining. Although they've been banned from parties and not alcohol, after the last Panhellenic meeting, Cappie's been reluctant to let guys drink in the house. So, to compromise, he's dumped all of their beers into pitchers, storing them in the fridge, and insisted that the guys try to stay under the radar for the next two weeks. His imitation of Janette reminding Cappie about Kappa Tau's _sentencing_ during the last Panhellenic meeting leaves Rusty in stitches. _It's so damn funny._

Or, perhaps he's just _drunk_. After the Panhellenic meeting, Rusty and Cappie went to Dobler's for an hour, where Cappie proceeded to "drown his sorrows" while Rusty sipped on a rum and coke and contemplated Max's words of wisdom. The issue with Jordan wasn't one he could talk to Cappie about, not this time. The subject was too delicate, and he feared the very mention of Max would send Cappie over the edge. He wasn't ready to ask what had happened between him and his sister, but he could tell that whatever occurred had left both Cappie and Casey rattled. Both seemed out of sorts.

He left Cappie early, a rarity for him, but Cappie seemed to hardly notice, transfixed by _Mia_ the new bartender, or the bottle of whiskey in her hand, one or the other. That's when he went to see Jordan, confused and a bit tipsy.

Now he's replaying the conversation over and over again in his head, every word, every _slur_, the stunned look on her perfect face once she realized what he was telling her. Now, he's wondering if maybe, despite all of the awards and prizes, Max may have been _wrong_ about this one. The alcohol's starting to wear on him and he's wide-eyed and scared at the prospect of losing Jordan now.

He looks up as the door flies open and Beaver lunges to the floor. Cappie's still digging in the fridge, but everyone else in the house seems to be momentarily stunned by the force that is Casey Cartwright, _his sister_. And she's headed right towards him.

He gulps, stepping backwards, retreating back into the kitchen, red cup dangling protectively in front of his face.

"Are you _insane_?" she hisses, hair flying as she reaches forward and rips the cup out of his hand. She eyes him incredulously. "You're _celebrating_?! You broke up with Jordan and you're _celebrating_?"

At this point he hears Cappie, head deep in the bottom shelf of the fridge, try to stand up. He watches anxiously as Cappie hits his head on the upper shelf, the last stray beer can falling out of the fridge and rolling frantically around the floor until it comes to a halt at Casey's feet.

His sister pauses when she realizes that Cappie's present, hesitating slightly before taking a big swig out of Rusty's beer.

Rusty sighs, hanging his head. He'd forgotten that Casey was Jordan's big sister. Their Greek worlds just keep getting smaller.

"Look, Case, you should probably stay out of this," Rusty says, mustering up more courage than he feels. There's beer leaking on his sister's shoes and she isn't budging. She obviously means business, a realization that's terrifying him.

"Well, too late," Casey remarks, turning her back to Cappie in an obvious effort to stop looking at him. She folds her arms across her chest. "I'm her big sis. I have her back."

Rusty can't help himself. "Weird, cause didn't your big sis Frannie try to sabotage you as well as date your exboyfriend? And Rebecca, your other little sis, well, she managed to get to _all_of your exboyfriends."

At this statement, Cappie slips in the puddle of beer he's been pretending to clean up, falling flat to the floor behind Casey. Rusty winces as Cappie hits the ground, but Casey doesn't falter.

"So no one's perfect," Casey says, already prepared for his defense. "Look, Rusty, if you're going to end it with Jordan, at least give her a _reason_. Don't lie to her and tell her it's about school or time management or some crap like that. She deserves the truth, at the very least."

Rusty frowns, looking to the ground. "Look, Case, Max is right. I shouldn't be spending so much time with Jordan, investing so much of myself. I mean, I have my future to think about..._my_ well being."

Casey arches an eyebrow, no sympathy apparent on her face. Rusty's wondering how Rebecca and Frannie achieved reputations for iciness when his sister's glare could turn the most carefree student's heart to stone. He shoves his hands in his pockets, unsure of what else to do.

"Look, Max is _upset_. He's really, really upset and...."

"Don't you think he has a right to be?" Rusty snaps. He's surprised at his tone. He's mad at his sister, although he can hardly remember why. He just knows that he's _supposed_ to be angry with her.

His tone softens Casey, if only for a second. "Of course he does," she says quietly, eyes lining the ground. Her gaze flickers back up to him. "But he's not thinking straight, Rust," she adds. "He's upset and sad and angry and he's not giving you the advice he normally would. I know you look up to him, but right now, he's the last person you should be going to about girl problems."

Rusty shifts his weight, sighing slightly. "Jordan isn't a problem. It's school. It's this class. But I don't want to fail, Case. So I thought that maybe if I gave up Jordan, everything else would fall into place."

Casey sighs, looking both concerned and upset at the same time. "Rust, what happened between Max and I had nothing to do with Max and everything to do with me."

Rusty stares at her, confused.

She rolls her eyes. "Is Jordan over Andy?"

Rusty nods. "Completely. I mean..."

"Then why are you hurting her? For no reason?"

Rusty sighs, his eyes falling upon Cappie who has taken the moment of silence to climb back to his feet. He shuts the fridge quietly.

"I don't want to lose her," he admits, a thought he hasn't even spoken to himself. "But if I'm _going_ to lose her, I'd rather end it now then..."

"Spitter, _no_," Cappie interrupts, leaning against the island in the kitchen as he shakes his head. "Look, bad or good, you don't want to give her up just because you don't know how it'll end. You'll end up regretting not knowing."

Rusty looks down in frustration. His head's swimming with advice about regrets and what-ifs. He looks up at his sister, ready to be brutally honest. "Look, I just don't want to end up like you and..."

"Rusty, what happened with Max and I _sucks_," Casey insists, tucking a stray blonde strand behind her ear. "He's not the only one hurting in this. He's a great guy, but sometimes you don't know who's right for you until you realize who's _wrong_ for you."

Rusty pauses, avoiding eye contact with Cappie who apparently found something interesting on the floor to gawk at. "I wasn't talking about you and Max."

"What?" Casey asks, nose scrunched in confusion. Her eyes narrow slightly in an attempt to understand his statement better.

He exhales loudly. "If I end up like Max, then _fine_. At least I'll know I gave it my best shot." He hesitates, lowering his eyes. "I don't want Jordan and I to end up like the two of _you_."

He knows the implications he's released into the air. He's created an even bigger tension, stirred a pot he had no right meddling with in the first place. But he's exhausted, fed up with Casey and Cappie dancing around each other, and he can only hope that he won't follow in their footsteps. That's what he's been trying to avoid all along.

Casey glances back at Cappie nervously before turning back to Rusty.

Cappie shakes his head. "Rust, you won't..."

"Look, Jordan won't turn into me," Casey insists jokingly, though her tough facade isn't fooling anyone. "I mean, Jordan is too smart to fall for an Evan."

Rusty smiles sheepishly.

"She's right, Spitter," Cappie begins, smiling as well, although he's keeping his distance from Casey, refusing to look in her direction. "And so what if it doesn't work out? At least you'll know for sure."

Rusty nods, the weight of what he's done finally sinking in. He looks up at his sister. "I'm an _idiot_," he remarks loudly.

Casey nods, smiling fondly. "Yeah," she agrees. "But don't worry, Jordan hasn't realized that yet."

"How long..." Rusty starts.

"I'd give her another hour before her Sylvia Plath phase ends and she barrels full force into anger."

"So I should..."

"_Go_," Casey urges. "And_ hurry_."

"And be nice!" Cappie yells after him.

He's a rhythm of feet and breath once he's out the door.

* * *

"I could kill him," Casey mutters.

Cappie turns, not fully willing to speak to her again, but not ready to shut her out either. "Who? Rusty? Give the kid a break, I mean..."

"No, not Rusty. _Max_." She shakes her head, anger apparent.

Cappie shrugs, keeping his distance from her. "Cut Max some slack. He just..."

Casey laughs, her fury flaring. "Jesus, Cap. _Cut Max some slack. _You don't even _like_the guy. You had no problem hating him before, but now you're all sympathetic and Ghandi-like. It's annoying."

"Well, maybe _now_I have a reason to sympathize with the guy," Cappie begins, caught off guard by her forwardness.

"Yeah, sure," Casey replies, rolling her eyes. "You're only defending him, because you would rather feel sorry for him and look like the bigger person in all of this, than admit how you really feel about any of this."

"_That's not true_," he protests, although he's not sure if he's telling the truth or not. All he knows is that she's too damn close and he needs her to leave.

"Right," she snaps, obviously not buying a word of his story. "You spent half of the semester so far trying to win me back, Cap. I'm _not_ crazy. You told me..."

"I know what I told you!" he yells, his volume surprising even himself.

Casey stumbles backwards, her eyes wide. "So what? It meant nothing? You just...you what? Wanted to kiss me? Sleep with me? Do whatever you want, so long as nothing serious happens? I don't get it Cap!"

"Just stop trying to...."

"No! I want to understand! One minute you want to be with me and the next, you'd rather I never stepped foot in the same building as you! What did I do wrong?! I can't keep wondering...I can't keep playing this game, year after year after year."

"I had to _watch_ you with Evan for three years!" he protests.

"I had to watch you with Rebecca!" she defends.

"Well, I had to watch you with Max!" He's sounding childish now, but he can't help it. She's overwhelming him.

"Well, I have to watch you with girl after girl after girl..."

"Look, I didn't tell you to break up with Max," he snaps, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity. "In fact, if you remember correctly, I told you _not_ to. But you went ahead and messed everything up and now you're looking for someone to blame...."

"I didn't break up with Max _for you_," Casey hisses. "I broke up with Max, because it wouldn't have been fair to stay with him when I really wanted to be with you. It wouldn't have been fair to anyone. And you don't want to be with me. Fine. I get it. And I could actually accept it if you could just _tell me_ what's changed in the past month? You wanted to be with me and now you _can_. I don't understand."

His breathing's irregular, sweat forming behind his neck, creeping under the edges of his hair. She wants to know what's changed. What changed? He can't answer her, because he can't even begin to devour her question. He's afraid that maybe too much has changed. Maybe he's changed. Maybe he was wrong about her all along. Maybe he just _likes_ being miserable.

"I don't know," he mutters.

Casey looks stunned. "That's all I get? An _I don't know_?"

He sighs. She steps closer to him and he retreats, holding his hands up. "Don't," he warns her.

She looks baffled. "Don't _what_?" She takes another step towards him.

"Don't _walk _towards me!" he remarks, sounding like a five year old. "Don't come looking for me...don't go to Panhellenic meetings...I mean, _god_, you're not even President anymore...."

"Neither is Rusty and he was there!" she insists. "And, I was there on Frannie's behalf. What? You honestly think I was there to see _you_?"

He shrugs when he really means to say no.

She stiffens. "Right, and I broke Jordan and Rusty up just so I could come here and see you again, Cap."

He wants to roll his eyes. "Maybe," he says, hating himself more than he already does. He doesn't know why he's being so course, so vicious. She certainly doesn't deserve his cruelty. But he _can't_be nice to her. He can't cave.

"Are you serious?" she asks, looking wounded.

He wants to shake his head. He wants to collapse and tell her that he doesn't _know_ what's wrong with him...that he's all fucked up and the only thing that seems to make sense is the liquid swirling in his red plastic cup. He wants to apologize and tell her to come back later, to keep trying, to check back when his emotions are under control. He wants to tell her he _misses _her.

But he doesn't. He stands straight and firm and quiet, challenging her with his eyes to leave.

She sighs, looking away from him. "You know that me running into you is purely coincidental," she states.

He shrugs. "Perhaps." He could slap himself. _Perhaps?_ Is he Evan fucking Chambers?

She ignores him. "And you know that at one point, you would have considered our frequent run-ins karmic synergy."

He looks away. "Well, maybe I don't believe in that anymore."

She reaches for the back door, looking downward. "Well, then I guess you _have_ changed," she snaps.

He slams the full cup of beer at the wall in frustration, causing her to jump back, door swinging closed as she spins around to face him. She stares at him unabashedly, eyes bearing into his, a mixture of terror and uncertainty staining her irises.

He exhales slowly, unsure of what to do next. Beer drips from the cabinets, streaming from the counter top onto the floor. He waits for her to leave, but she's frozen in place, body still as a statue, eyes not even daring to blink.

His every breath, every movement seems amplified. Casey's face, strong and confidant only mere moments before, is rearranged, eyes falling downward nervously, every sign of strength sucked dry.

They're both just standing there, dumbly, because _this_, this place of shame and nervous trepidation, is a place they've never been before, at least, not like this.

And she's just _lingering_, waiting, her newly reserved and unusually anxious demeanor surprisingly attractive in this weird, out-of-body type moment, and he's struggling against the better half of himself that's urging him to step closer to her. But that would be dangerous and they're already treading through unchartered waters as it is. It's a risky game they're playing and it's no longer about winning or losing. It's gone so much further beyond black and white. It's about him and her, and Evan, and Rebecca, and Max, and god, even Frannie to some extent. It has everything and nothing to do with Rusty and even Ashleigh, and all the other casualties they've strewn into their mess of a relationship along the way. Gone are the days when they used to toss someone else on their arm, flaunting the word _closure_ for all to see, insisting that they were happy with other people, pretending that they could get by on lies and childish hopes. This facade of false security faded a long time ago, and they _both_ know it. Now it's just him and her, painfully exposed, with no armor in sight to hide behind.

What's worse is that _she's right_, this is his definition of karmic synergy, to a fucking tee; the inability to shake her, even when he's certain he can't handle being around her...he can't escape her. Of course she would know that this unexpected surge of irony isn't lost on him, that it's taunting him, mocking him, laughing its ass off at him, pointing and flashing neon signs directed towards him with the bright word _hypocrite_ hovering above him. He's irony's bitch right now and he would laugh outright if Casey wasn't standing there, staring at him _like that_.

No, he won't laugh now. He wouldn't dare.

He sighs without meaning to, hand sweeping through the back of his hair in a futile effort to quench any amount of frustration.

Casey turns sharply, looking back at him, as if to remind him that she won't be going anywhere anytime soon. As if he could forget this fact. So many things unsaid and so many things worded wrongly fill the gap of space between them, causing the air to feel heavier, making each movement more difficult.

She looks back once more before leaving, light flashing in her baby blues, lips moving tentatively as she says, "Bye Cap," like they just had a casual lunch or cup of coffee or something platonic like that. Like she'll see him in a few hours. Like everything's fine.

He drags his hand over his face in exasperation as she finally leaves, her words echoing through his head. He can't get the sight of her slightly turned head out of his mind, the curve of her jaw, the sharp lines of her neck. The weight of her stare still leaves him glued to his spot in the kitchen.

The simplicity of her words sums everything up, the simple, "Bye Cap", along with the way she whispered his name, so comfortably and earnestly, as if she'd been born just to enunciate those three letters. The curve of the _c_, the draw of the _a_, the barely audible pop of the _p_—he's breaking down each moment, each detail, each syllable, until he's dizzy and perplexed.

When Beaver and Wade scurry in to check on him, he pushes past them, ignoring their concerned and confused looks, barreling upstairs, and locking himself in his room for yet another sleepless night.

* * *

It's nightfall when she saunters into Dobler's, grin wide, hair loose and wild, cupping around her shoulders. She spots Calvin almost immediately and waves to him, signaling that she'll buy drinks before joining him.

She scurries over to the bar, ready to order her and Casey's favorite drink, lemon drops, but her head is still buzzing quietly with the leftover side effects of the prior night's hangover. She opts for a pitcher of beer instead, bringing the pitcher to the rescue of her very underage friend waiting for her.

"So where's the boy who's been stealing you away from me?" he teases, grinning as he pours two glasses of beer. He hands one to her and lifts the other to his lips.

Ashleigh rolls her eyes. "He's working...at the house," she explains quickly. "I told him that I had to go meet my good friend Calvin, otherwise you might start to wonder if I'd been kidnapped or not," she jokes.

Calvin smirks. "Uh huh," he remarks, not buying her story fully.

She sighs dramatically, beaming. "Plus, Rebecca and some of the other girls have been complaining about the uh, lack of attention to detail Fisher seems to develop when I'm around." She grins blatantly.

"Now that sounds more like the truth," Calvin grins.

Ashleigh purses her lips, smiling tauntingly. "So, while most of my friends had emotional breakdowns last night, it seems like _someone_ managed to have fun at the _End of the World_ party."

Calvin blushes slightly, looking down. "Yeah, uh...well..."

"What happened to staying away from Grant and keeping your relationship uh, _professional_...for the sake of the house?"

Calvin grins. "I got a little drunk and...."

"Thought, _to hell with it_?" she smirks.

Calvin shrugs, still unable to stop smiling. "I just finally realized that the reason I'd been trying so hard _not_ to like Grant was because I really liked Grant."

"Aw," Ashleigh coos. "Yay, now we can double-date."

Calvin shakes his head sheepishly. "Yeah, like I'm going to subject Grant to that sort of torture. Double-date with Casey and Max, not us."

Ashleigh makes a pained sound, face tensing.

"Unless there's something I'm unaware of..." Calvin trails off, leaning forward.

Ashleigh pauses. "Well, Casey broke up with Max for Cappie, after Cappie tried to make Casey break up with Max for him. So, she realized she wanted to be with Cappie, went ahead and told Cappie that she wanted to be with him. He rejected her and she broke up with Max anyway."

"Ouch," Calvin remarks, tensing sympathetically. "So I bet you had a fun day."

"And night," she adds dramatically. "Don't get me wrong. I _love_her to death. But, it's like enough already with all of this Cappie drama. I want her to be happy and it seems like ever since she started following my advice about going after Cappie...everything's just gotten worse."

Calvin shakes his head. "I doubt any of this has to do with your advice," he insists. "I mean, you told her to do what she thought was right. And she did. Life just doesn't always work out the way we want it to."

Ashleigh nods restlessly. "Yeah," she agrees slowly. She takes another sip of her beer before perking up and snapping out of her daze. "But _tonight_ is about you and me...and you telling me the _entire_ story about your hot little romance with Grant. Now start from the beginning and don't leave anything out...well, except for the uh, _icky_ details."

* * *

Casey's eyes snap open as daylight bursts into her room, blinding her momentarily and paining her once she stops blinking. She squints through the brightness and is both stunned and a little confused to see a very determined looking Rebecca hovering over her bed.

"_Up_," she says simply.

Casey blinks back in response, still too tired for words. She's convinced that there's an anvil pressing on her chest, weighing her down and making breathing a tiresome function.

"Up," Rebecca repeats firmly.

Casey turns onto her side, wrapping herself into a cocoon of blankets and sheets. She hears a sharp _tut_ from above her, but continues to burrow in the comfort of her bed.

"Rebecca, what the _hell_!" she shrieks as her blankets are ripped off of her and strewn into a large clump on the floor. She sits up slowly, room spinning as she tries to shake off the drowsiness that's consuming her body. She stares through matted hair at Rebecca, cranky and annoyed.

"_Get up_," she orders, mouth tight and unflinching.

Casey groans. "No."

"It's one in the afternoon," she remarks, crossing her arms deftly.

Casey struggles to remember why this time is so important. "The picnic," she manages, pushing her tangle of hair out of her face. "_Shit_. Why didn't anyone wake me up?"

"Because we're not your mother," Rebecca replies crisply.

Casey stares at her harshly, frowning.

Rebecca rolls her eyes. "Okay, I told them not to. Ashleigh wanted to wait, but I told them to go without you."

"But it's a tradition. Every Monday before Thanksgiving break we go to the quad..."

"And eat crappy food and gossip about how fucking great it is to be a ZBZ," Rebecca says mockingly in a valley girl imitation voice.

Casey looks up, agitated. "I thought you liked our picnics."

Rebecca sighs, looking away from her quickly. "They're all right."

Casey smiles slightly. An _all right _from Rebecca Logan is as big of a compliment as she'll ever get. It's practically a rave review.

"So why didn't you go?"

Rebecca shrugs. "I had some homework to catch up on."

"Right," Casey mutters.

"I figured you wouldn't want to go so I convinced Ashleigh to go without you."

Casey looks up, inexplicably grateful. "Thanks," she says softly.

Rebecca barely nods. "You're welcome," she says nonchalantly, as if she could care less what Casey thinks. With that said, she disappears out into the hallway, leaving Casey alone in her bed.

Casey struggles to her feet, throwing her bed linens back onto her mattress. She stumbles towards the bathroom, forcing herself to shower even though she'd much rather fall back onto her warm bed. She keeps the water cool, hoping it'll help her wake up, but much to her dismay, she barely even notices the chilly temperature of the water.

Minutes later she appears downstairs, still clad in her pajama, wet hair dangling down her back. She heads for the kitchen, the overwhelming need to wallow taking control. Wallowing means eating junk and spending hours watching bad lifetime movies.

She freezes in the dining room, a table full of at least twenty different cereal boxes capturing her attention. A bowl, spoon, and jug of milk are positioned pointedly at her usual spot at the table.

She looks up at Rebecca in awe, at a loss for words.

Rebecca shrugs. "Don't look at me like that," she remarks, stepping back. "I made Fisher buy everything, so it's not like it was _my_ money."

"Rebecca..." Casey begins, almost smiling at her. She stares back to the spread of cereal, recalling the time Rebecca spent an entire day downing bowls of cereal.

"Look, you once told me that you knew how hard it was to get over Cappie," she begins tentatively. "But you had never been rejected by him. And I know how difficult that is to deal with. It's this weird, depressing feeling at first, but eventually you find yourself getting upset and angry and just wanting to..."

"Bite things?" Casey suggests, laughing now at the hilarity of the situation.

Rebecca smiles. "Exactly," she agrees.

"Rebecca, I don't know what to say...I mean...you didn't have to go through all of this trouble...I..."

"Don't get _too_happy," Rebecca begins curtly. "You get one day. That's it. One day before everyone's going to stop feeling sorry for you. So enjoy it while you can, because come tomorrow, it's back to being Casey Cartwright, social chair. And social chair's are supposed to be...well, _social_."

Casey nods, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, I do know that," she replies.

Rebecca shoots her a half-smile. "The girls won't be back until six. And I think I'm going to spend the day updating my wardrobe. Everything I own is _so_ last week," she teases, heading for the door.

"Rebecca," Casey begins, smiling sheepishly. "_Thank you_."

Rebecca shrugs. "I'm your little sis," she says blatantly before disappearing out the door.

It's surreal almost, the array of food across the table, the place setting already laid out for her, and most significantly, the recognition of her pain that could only come from someone else burned by the sting of rejection. And not just any rejection, rejection by Cappie.

She sits down to her first bowl of frosted flakes, finding it interesting that the person who knew what she needed most turned out to be Rebecca Logan. And yet, she's also the only person in the world who has any notion of the unexpected emotions she's grappling with.

The fact is, it's always been Rebecca who's understood her better than she's liked at times, and now that she's on the receiving end of Rebecca's rare but inherent kindness, she's finding that she's grateful for the experiences they've shared, if only because they've created a bond that can't ever be shaken. A bond that, right now, she's more than happy to be a part of.

* * *

Reviews are love!!!! And while you're waiting for the next chapter, might I suggest you indulge yourself with rock'n'rollbitch's story, _Waiting in Moments_. For those of you who haven't read it, it's amazing.

Keep the reviews coming and I promise to update soon!


	5. questioning

I apologize profusely for the ridiculously long delay! Just so you know, there's probably only one more chapter after this (possibly two) and it/they will be posted before the premiere. Also, I'd like to note that there are three lines in here posted from the trailer of the premiere episode of season three...I'm merely using them to go in the direction I want the show to take. However, if you'd rather not know a thing about where Greek's going, then you probably shouldn't read any more. Enjoy and please review! Thanks again, you guys are the best!

* * *

Ashleigh turns, eyes bounding upward as she spins in her computer chair. "Rebecca, you're really starting to freak me out," she insists, arching an eyebrow inquisitively.

Rebecca looks downward, eyes grazing the carpet. "Yeah...sorry..." she begins, stepping inside the room.

Ashleigh softens. "What's wrong?" she asks, folding her hands into her lap. "It's like you've been trying to tell me something..."

Rebecca flashes a nervous grin then sits down on Ashleigh's bed. "Well, um, yeah," she begins. "And I would have told you sooner, but I wasn't sure how to approach you about this."

Ashleigh straightens her back, misplaced anxiety tugging at her throat. "Tell me what?" she asks firmly.

She watches as Rebecca picks at her jeans, nails digging into the rough fabric.

"Rebecca," she remarks, suddenly worried. "What is it?"

Rebecca clears her throat, obviously nervous. She looks up at Ashleigh timidly, a sure sign that something is terribly wrong. Ashleigh can't help but push.

"Just say it."

Rebecca nods, turning her head to the side. "So I...well, at the End of the World party, I kind of made out with this guy."

"And now you're not sure if you're really straight or not?" Ashleigh teases, knowing Rebecca hasn't revealed all of the information yet.

She doesn't respond. "There was this guy, Vick at the tailgate party who I sort of hooked up with. Well, during the End of the World party, I went upstairs to use Cappie's bathroom since the one downstairs was disgusting." She pauses, tucking her dark hair behind her ear. "Anyway, when I came out, there was this guy in front of me, and I couldn't really see him clearly because it was dark. But he _looked_ like Vick and when he leaned in to kiss me, I _assumed_ it was Vick. But..."

"It wasn't?" Ashleigh guesses, growing a bit bored with their banter.

"No, no it wasn't," Rebecca sighs. "We made our way down the stairs and then when I saw him clearly it was...well it was Fisher."

Ashleigh stares in amazement at Rebecca. She's not certain if this is Rebecca's idea of a joke or sisterhood prank or what she's trying to pull. She's only sure that Fisher would never kiss Rebecca, but Rebecca would _certainly_ kiss Fisher.

"I...we...well, when I saw it was him, I pulled away and he gave me this strange look. I was so surprised, and like I said, it had been really dark, so I said, _Oh my god, did you think I was Ashleigh?_ And he just grinned and tried to kiss me again." Her voice trails off as her eyes skirt up to Ashleigh's, waiting.

Ashleigh gawks at her for a moment. "Is this the part where I'm supposed to start laughing?"

Rebecca tenses. "Only if you found something humorous about what I just told you."

"You _are_ joking right?"

Rebecca shakes her head slowly. "I wish I were...I..."

"You kissed my boyfriend?" Ashleigh snaps.

"No! Well, yes, but...Ash, I didn't mean to...that's why I'm here! That's why I..."

"If you didn't _mean_ to kiss him and it was such an accident, then why did you wait a week to tell me?" Ashleigh remarks angrily.

Rebecca stands up quickly, eyeing Ashleigh cautiously. "This is going to sound stupid, but I wanted him..._Fisher_...I wanted to give him a chance to come to you. I told him I was going to tell you and I wanted to give him a chance to come clean first. I mean, maybe he was just drunk or maybe he...."

"Or maybe you're making all of this up," Ashleigh suggests bitterly. "Admit it, you _hate_ that I'm happy and you aren't."

"Wait a minute..."

"No, you're just mad because I got Fisher and you didn't," Ashleigh remarks, crossing her arms firmly. "And you were being nice to me all week long in the hope that I'd believe your ridiculous tale so that I'd break up with Fisher and you could..."

"Ashleigh! Why would I lie about this?"

"It's not like you haven't before," Ashleigh snaps.

"I'm not...I wouldn't...I just thought you should know, because..."

"Get out Rebecca," Ashleigh spits, eyes blazing. "I don't know why Casey was dumb enough to beg Tegan to let you stay in this sorority, but I think you'll find that I'm not as forgiving as Casey is."

She stands fiercely, hip cocked to one side, mouth still hanging open from her trail of words, eyes widened and threatening to tear. Rebecca turns without another word and disappears down the hallway, heels clinking as she storms off.

It takes a moment before her breathing begins to stagger and she catches herself from teetering off balance, hands digging into the wood of her desk, head bent down between her arms in an effort to maintain her composure.

Because if she were to be completely honest with herself, she would admit that she believes Rebecca, that she _wants_ to believe Rebecca, that Fisher did cheat on her, and that he hasn't come clean.

But she can't bring herself to form any of these thoughts or even to cry, because wouldn't that be an admittance of knowing the truth in itself? Instead, she climbs back to her feet and clenches her jaw. Hating Rebecca comes too easily, much more easily than the idea of hating Fisher.

* * *

"Chambers!" Cappie calls, jogging to catch up with him.

Evan pauses, ending his conversation with a girl Cappie's never seen before and turns to face him. "Hey," Evan replies, sounding a bit hesitant. "Uh, you know we're in public, right?"

Cappie waves his hand in the air as if to say, it doesn't matter. "I have a uh...problem and the guys in the house, well, they're not much for relationship advice. And there's Rusty who's probably the only Kappa Tau to ever be in a healthy relationship, but..."

"But you can't talk to him because discussing your feelings for is older sister is a little too uncomfortable for you?" Evan suggest.

Cappie rolls his eyes. "I never said this was about Casey."

"It's _always_ about Casey. That's why you came to see me," Evan remarks. "Plus, you didn't deny that it was about her."

Cappie sighs. "You gonna help or are you just going to gloat the entire time?"

Evan smirks. "A little bit of both."

Cappie nods. "Least you're honest."

"So what did she do this time?"

Cappie laughs, because someone the idea of summing up everything that happened seems impossible. There's the studying together and the tailgate party and the float and their fights and the End of the World party and Max and Rusty and—

"She broke up with Max," he says quickly. He'll keep it short and simple.

"So what, now you think she wants _you_ back?" Evan laughs. It's a good-intentioned joke, but it still stings of old jealousy and rivalry.

Cappie rolls his eyes. "Perhaps I should clarify. Casey broke up with Max _for me_."

Evan blinks back surprise. "Seriously?"

"Uh, _yeah_," Cappie mutters, biting back a bit of sarcasm.

Evan nods, soaking in the new information. "Huh," he replies, pursing his lips. "Well, what's the problem?"

"The problem is that this is _Casey_ and I don't know what to do."

"What do you want to do?"

Cappie shrugs. "I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not over her. I know that much. Hell, the bartenders at Dobler's know that much. But, nothing's changed. We're older, questionably wiser, but still the same people we were before."

"That's not entirely true," Evan remarks. "I mean, you didn't neglect Rebecca the way you did Casey when you two dated."

"I didn't neglect..." Cappie begins. "Wait, how do you know _anything_ about how I treated Rebecca?" he asks skeptically.

Evan shrugs. "She uh...we've been talking."

There's a joke in his head about Evan picking up his sloppy seconds, but he doesn't dare utter it. Strangely enough, he really wants Evan's opinion on this.

"Well that's, uh, gross," Cappie manages.

Evan chuckles. "It's not a big deal, Cap. I was just trying to prove the point that you _have_ grown up since freshman year and Casey's changed a lot too. Maybe it could work."

"You think?"

"Maybe."

"So you think I should go for it," Cappie deduces.

Evan furrows his brow. "What? No. I didn't say that."

Cappie falters. "But you...are you messing with me Chambers?"

Evan grins and shakes his head, expression turning solemn as he squeezes Cappie's shoulder. "Look, we both know what Casey Cartwright can do to a guy. Yeah, she's awesome and there's never going to be anyone else like her, but come on Cap. You know how it felt to lose her once. Do you really want to go through that again?"

Cappie sighs, pausing for a moment. "I told Spitter not to be afraid to take risks with girls. And here I am afraid to make a decision about Casey."

Evan rolls his eyes. "Risks are good. And hey, taking _some_ risks with girls are _very good_ if you get what I'm saying."

Cappie grins.

"But taking Casey back? It just sounds like a death sentence. I mean, the way I figure it is Casey only wants what she _can't_ have."

Cappie nods. "But," he protests. "Like you said, she's grown up a lot."

Evan sighs. "Look, maybe I'm not the best person to be talking to about this. When it comes to Casey, I can't really be objective."

Cappie nods, holding his hand up to wave to Evan as he disappears farther down the street.

_Who can_? he thinks.

* * *

"Uh, Rust," Jordan laughs, pushing him off of her.

"Sorry was I..." he begins, smiling awkwardly at her.

She grins, rolling her eyes. "You were beginning to cut off my circulation."

Rusty smirks, hugging her again, this time more gently. "Sorry," he apologizes. "I just feel like such an idiot."

She shoots him a curious look. "Just _don't_ do it again," she remarks.

Rusty shakes his head frantically as he kisses her. "I won't," he promises.

"Cause honestly, the thought of your sister's relationship affecting ours," she whispers. "Well, it's kind of unsettling."

Rusty nods, eyes wide. "Tell me about it."

Jordan smiles coyly. "Well, I guess you're off the hook then. I mean, you did pay for dinner and the movie."

"Oh, this is just the _beginning_," Rusty insists. "Tomorrow we can go to that french restaurant you like and then I was thinking that Friday..."

"Rust," Jordan says cautiously. "You don't have to buy my love," she teases.

"I just feel so bad," he admits.

"Well stop," she says, kissing him again. "We're _fine_. I promise."

"Okay," he agrees, letting go of her hand reluctantly. "I'll call you tomorrow."

She smiles as she waves at him before disappearing up the walkway of the ZBZ house.

Rusty grins the entire way back to his apartment complex.

His key's barely in the lock when Dale flings the door open, staring wildly at him.

"Dude, your big brother is _freaking me out_," Dale hisses, stepping out into the hallway. "He shows up here with no shirt and a missing shoe and he's muttering about fate and Evan."

"What?" Rusty remarks, baffled.

"That's what I'm saying!" Dale replies loudly. "He's talking about guys and fate Russ!"

Rusty rolls his eyes. "Cappie is _not_ gay."

"Look I don't know _what _Cappie is, but I'm going to Sheila's because he is freaking me out!"

Rusty chuckles slightly as he slips inside of his apartment, shutting the door behind him. "Nice shirt," he jokes, thrown by the sight of Cappie in Dale's _ABSTINENCE– the sexiest choice of all_ tee-shirt.

Cappie eyes the shirt strangely, obviously drunk. "I thought it was _ironic_."

Rusty laughs. "Yeah, uh, sure it is, Cap."

"Do you believe in _fate_?"

"Cap, _you_ believe in fate," Rusty reminds him. "Remember? Karmic synergy? Everything will work itself out if you just..."

"It's all crap," Cappie remarks, hiccupping slightly. "Made it up to make myself feel better."

"I don't know Cap," Rusty says gently. "I believe in it."

Cappie narrows his eyes. "You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, I told Jordan how I felt when she was dating Andy and she chose me," Rusty explains.

Cappie nods a bit too zealously. "Yeah, yeah," he agrees. "Kind of like how I told Casey how I felt and then she broke up with Max."

Rusty pauses. "_Kind of_," he begins. "But uh..."

"But I was an _idiot_ and turned her down," Cappie nods.

Rusty stands frozen. "I uh, I don't know."

"You think I should try to get over her? 'Cause that's what Evan seems to think."

"Evan? When did you..."

"Or should I try to get her back?" Cappie asks. "I don't know what to do Rust."

Rusty sighs, sitting down next to him. "Well for starters, you need to stop asking other people what you should be doing. Only you know what you want, Cap. No one can answer that, _especially_ Evan."

"Hmm," Cappie mumbles. "Can I tell you a secret, Spitter?"

"Maybe," Rusty replies, a little warily.

"Evan Chambers isn't the two-timing jerk I made him out to be. We're kind of friends."

Rusty nods slowly. "Uh, that's nice."

"Yeah," Cappie says, smiling.

"Cap, what are you doing here?" Rusty asks. "Not that I mind, but..."

Cappie shrugs, eyes skirting across the floor. "Beav and Wade keep trying to cheer me up back at the house. It's nice and all, but there's only so many times I can handle a game of _spin-the-bottle_ before feeling nauseous."

Rusty's eyes widen. "You play spin-the-bottle with Wade and Beaver?!" he remarks incredulously.

Cappie stares at Rusty, perplexed. "Yeah, you know, you spin the bottle and whoever it points to has to drink it, which is _always_ funny because you know, it's all shook up."

"_Oh_," Rusty replies, exhaling. "_That_ spin-the-bottle."

Cappie nods. "Why what were you thinking?"

"Uh, nothing..."

"Now as I was saying, I _love_ a good game of spin-the-bottle, but since we're out of beer and can't buy any until the restrictions are up, chugging bottles of milk and orange juice, well, it's really getting me sick."

"Understandable," Rusty replies.

"So I went to Dobler's for a few minutes..."

"_A few minutes_?" Rusty questions dubiously.

Cappie grins sheepishly. "_Okay_," he admits. "For a few _hours_."

"Sounds more like it."

"And when I left Dobler's I realized for the first time in a _long_ time that I had nowhere to go."

Rusty hesitates, not used to Cappie being so vulnerable. "Everything okay, Cap?" he asks at last, sitting down across from him.

Cappie hangs his head, looking up slowly at Rusty. "I guess I thought that I was making the right decision at the time...that she would wake up and realize she didn't really want me."

Rusty shifts his weight awkwardly. "And now you think you made the wrong decision?"

Cappie sighs. "_I miss her_. I never expected to miss her so much. When I told her we couldn't be friends, I thought...I thought I was doing what was best for her. I figured she'd stay with Max, graduate, get married, and just be happy."

Rusty shoots Cappie a small smile. "But she _didn't_ stay with Max. Casey's a people pleaser. She likes to make everyone happy. That's probably why it took her so long to end things with Max. As long as you were her friend, she was fine dating Max, even if she wasn't exactly happy. But once you told her you couldn't be _just_ her friend, she knew she had to make a choice. It just took her a while to figure out how she felt."

"Try three years," Cappie mutters.

Rusty rolls his eyes quickly. "Casey's always been sure about her future. She's always known what she wanted to do and exactly what kind of person she wanted to be. And after breaking up with Evan, she realized that everything she thought she wanted wasn't as great as it seemed. She's in the process of reevaluating her life and figuring out exactly who she is. You can't really blame her for not being sure about you."

"I've _always_ been sure about her," Cappie replies quickly, a realization Rusty's always suspected but never heard him utter out loud. "I've never doubted it," he adds.

"Well," Rusty begins, hands reaching into his pockets. "She's sure now. Isn't that enough?"

* * *

"Hey," Casey replies softly, tiptoeing into her and Ashleigh's room. "I uh, well, Rebecca just told me."

She watches as the lump under layers of blankets moves slightly, then falls still again.

Casey approaches Ashleigh's bed quietly. "Talk to me Ash. I want to help."

"There's nothing you can do," Ashleigh mutters quickly, sticking her head out of the blankets. "Just leave me alone Case."

"I can't," she begins softly. "Not until I at least try to talk to you."

"Okay, well you tried, now go."

"Ash," Casey begins cautiously. "Rebecca feels terrible about this. You have to believe that she didn't know..."

"Seriously Casey?" Ashleigh remarks bitterly. "She sleeps with Evan and I'm supposed to hate her. She dates Cappie and I'm supposed to think she's a bitch. Then she befriends Frannie and I'm supposed to go along with your schemes to bring both of them down. But she kisses _my_ boyfriend and the rules change? I'm just supposed to _forgive_ her?"

Casey sighs, sitting down on the edge of Ashleigh's bed. "I didn't say it was fair, but..." She stops, deciding to change the subject slightly. "Have you talked to Fisher?"

"Don't want to."

"You _have_ to."

"I know Case, I just don't want to right now, okay?"

"Okay."

"Look, if this was you and Cappie, how would you feel?"

"Betrayed," Casey starts. "Horrified, hurt, _stupid_. I'd feel a million different things Ash, and it's okay for you to be upset and angry, even at Rebecca right now, because what happened _sucks_."

"_It does_."

"I just don't want you to shut Rebecca out forever," Casey adds, standing up. "You were the one who convinced me to give her a chance and you were right about her. _She means well_. And she never meant for you to get hurt here. You have to know that."

"I don't _want_ to give her another chance," Ashleigh insists. "And I don't have to."

"You're right," Casey begins softly. "You don't have to. It's entirely up to you. And I don't mean to get all preachy on you, but relationships are complicated. Yes, Fisher cheated on you and yes you have every right to be pissed about that. But with Rebecca, well...it's just not always that simple."

Ashleigh spins away, back turning towards Casey. "Well for me it is."

Casey sighs. "So you're going to cut her out, just like that?"

There's a pause and Casey purses her lips, retreating back to the door.

"Yeah," Ashleigh adds quietly as Casey starts to shut the door. "Just like that."

* * *

Reviews are love!

A/N: ATTENTION SPOILER ALERT: Apparently Rebecca shares a kiss with a guy in an established relationship. Since I'm doubting it's Rusty (and obviously NOT Calvin), that only left Fisher, which would explain why Ash is so upset in the trailer. This is just my interpretation based on what I've heard and seen, so don't think that this is what's going to happen.


	6. realizing

The story's almost over! You can expect the final installment sometime next week. Thanks for all of the support guys! You rock!

* * *

"Hi, I'm Casey Cartwright. I'm here to see..."

"Sit," the elderly secretary commands, staring up at Casey with mild annoyance.

She crinkles her nose in agitation and turns to the waiting area. She smirks at Evan, the only other student in the room.

"She's pleasant," she jokes in a half-whisper, taking a seat next to him.

Evan smiles, but doesn't say a word, the awkwardness between them returning.

Casey picks at the seat of her chair, running over things to say to him in her head. After a few excruciatingly painful minutes, she sighs, hands falling to her lap as she turns to Evan.

"This is stupid, right?" she asks, eyes wide.

He looks up at her slowly, offering a weak, yet confused smile. "What, that we need to see our advisor to make sure we're on the _right track_ for graduation?"

Casey laughs. "No, well, _this too_, but _this_, you and me. I mean, it doesn't have to be weird, does it? We can be friends, right?"

Evan peers up at her. "I don't know Case...I heard the whole _friends_ routine didn't work too well with Cappie."

She rolls her eyes, pushing Cappie from her mind. "That was different," she insists. "He and I...we...."

"It's fine," Evan says, smirking slightly. "I was joking."

"Oh," Casey says, shaking her head slightly. She looks up at Evan after a minute, mind pausing on his prior statement. "You _heard_?" she repeats. "No one knew about my falling out with Cappie except for...well, Cappie and I."

Evan laughs. "You have to know everything, don't you?"

"Well, _no_, but..." she stops eyeing him curiously. "Is there anything _to_ know?"

He folds his arms over his chest as he turns to her. "Let's just say that Cappie and I have worked out our differences. For the moment, at least."

Casey grins. "That's amazing," she says, nodding. "I mean you guys were so close and..."

Evan shrugs, looking down.

"I feel bad sometimes," she replies, nostalgia taking over. "I mean, I feel _responsible_ for..."

"Don't," Evan says shortly, a certain sign that he's ready to drop the conversation. "I mean, we all made our own decisions. Including you. There's nothing to feel bad about."

Casey nods, though a twinge of guilt still remains. "Who would have thought it'd be _you_ and Cappie speaking and _not_ me and Cappie...or me and you for that matter."

Evan offers up a small smile, eyes flickering back to hers. "Well, we're talking now, right?"

"That's true," Casey admits, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "So, how about Franny?"

Evan winces. "Yeah, how about her?" he jokes, shaking his head. "I'm sorry about all that Case...about...."

"Hey, it's forgotten," Casey nods, grinning. "I bet your parents were devastated though," she jokes. "I'm sure they _loved_ her."

Evan snorts. "Oh yeah," he teases. "They uh...they actually don't really know much about what I'm doing."

Casey's eyes perk up. "Oh?" she asks. "They finally loosened up their jaws of steel grip on you?"

It's a joke, but judging from the look in his eyes, it stings.

"No, I uh...I turned down my trust fund," he admits. There's a bit of dignity, pride even, in his voice as he turns to her. "Turns out, money really isn't everything."

Casey smiles softly. "This is probably going to sound stupid after everything we've..." She pauses, shaking her head at her own foolishness. "Look Evan, what I'm trying to say is that I'm..._proud_ of you."

He blinks back in surprise. "I...thanks Case," he smiles.

"Casey Cartwright," the receptionist calls.

"Oh, I've been waiting here for a half hour and _you_ get to go in first?" Evan jokes.

Casey shrugs innocently. "You better get used to waiting now that you don't have the Chambers' fortune to back you up," she teases.

* * *

"Ashleigh?"

Ashleigh forces herself out of bed, marching angrily towards the door. "_What_?" she huffs, not flinching as she glares at Rebecca.

Rebecca sighs, cocking out her right hip. "I'm just here to tell you that Fisher's here to see you. I told him to go to hell, but Jordan insisted that you had a right to know he was here."

"Yes, Rebecca, I _do_ have a right to know," she remarks. "It's not like I'm dating him or..."

"But he..." Rebecca begins, astonished. "I just...I thought you wouldn't want to..." She pauses, taking a deep breath. "I was _trying_ to help you."

"Oh, you've done _more_ than enough," Ashleigh insists loudly, pushing past her to make her way downstairs.

She clamors into the hallway, clad in pajamas and a dark blue bathrobe, hair tangled and matted. She eyes Fisher accusingly and opens the front door.

"We'll talk outside," she demands.

"Uh, Ash," he begins a bit nervously. "You look...well, _awful_, you may not want to do this outside where..."

"Does it look like I care?" she asks threateningly, her eyes slicing through him.

He hangs his head, closing the door softly. "Listen, I don't know what Rebecca told you but..."

"She told me _enough_."

"Ash, I was drunk and Rebecca was practically _begging _me to..."

Ashleigh rolls her eyes. "Rebecca would never _beg_ you to make out with her," she concludes icily. "She'd never beg anyone for anything."

He grabs her hands quickly. "It was a stupid mistake."

"Yeah, it was," Ashleigh agrees, ripping her hands from his grasp. "But I don't think it's one I can forgive."

Fisher sighs. "Ash...I'm going to make it up to you. I'll...."

"You can't," she remarks. She shrugs. "There's no way to fix this."

"But if you just give it some time...."

She shakes her head. "Time? Time's going to make me hate you less, I'm sure of that. But time's also going to help me love you less."

Fisher's eyes widen. "I don't...I don't want to lose you Ash. I'll do _anything_ to make you happy again."

She backs away slowly. "Then you're going to have to get over me," she replies decidedly. "Because the only thing I want right now is to get over you." She pauses, hand on the door. "And, uh, it'd be best if you found yourself a new job."

She slams the door shut, turning quickly on her heel and bounding up the stairs. Her tears are flowing freely now and she can't understand how she let someone hurt her this way, how she fell for someone so _cruel_.

But he wasn't cruel, _isn't_ cruel, and she knows this, and suddenly she's understanding all of the seemingly idiotic choices Casey's made over the years, and she's realizing that as much as she _should_ hate Fisher, she _can't_.

And it isn't fair. It just _is_.

Rebecca catches her as she collapses to the floor, helping her inside her room, helping her save what little dignity she has left.

"I still..._love_...him," she chokes out between sobs, Rebecca clutching her tightly. "I still...love him."

"I know," Rebecca remarks, hugging her awkwardly. Her eyes meet Ashleigh's and there's a second where Ashleigh swears Rebecca really _does_ know her pain. Her dark eyes are unguarded and exposed, but only for an instant. And it makes sense, because maybe Rebecca really _did_ love Cappie. Or maybe she's just trying to be a good friend.

"_I know_," Rebecca repeats as Ashleigh sobs harder.

But this time she's not just bawling over Fisher. She's crying because Rebecca _does_ know what she's going through and it's not fair to either of them.

* * *

"Hey, Case!" Rusty calls, flagging her down by waving his arms wildly in the air. He pauses once to catch his breath than continues rushing over to her.

Casey eyes him warily. "Hey Rust," she remarks, a bit standoffish.

Rusty grabs her shoulder, trying to steady his breathing. "Hey...Case..."

"You said that already," she replies, biting her lip. "What's going on?"

He shrugs, falling in stride with her as they head across campus. "Nothing."

Casey raises an eyebrow inquisitively. "You just practically chased me across campus," she points out.

Rusty shakes his head quickly. "No I, uh..." He turns his head to the side, looking around the open walkway for some sort of relevant excuse. His eyes hone in on a patch of flowers and he grins. "There was uh, a bee."

"A bee?" Casey remarks dubiously. "_A bee_?"

Rusty nods. "Yup. A bee. They, uh...sting."

"Right."

"So, uh, yeah. That's why I ran."

"And you shouted my name because..."

"Uh," Rusty falters, stumbling over words again. He grabs his sister rapidly and forces her into an awkward hug. "Because you're my sister and I love you. And, uh, I never did really get to thank you for helping me out with Jordan."

Casey rolls her eyes and pushes him off of her. "Well, you were being an idiot and it's my job to tell you when you're being an idiot."

"So there's this party..." Rusty begins eyeing her curiously. "At uh, Omega Chi."

Casey arches an eyebrow. "Evan told me all about it," she remarks skeptically. "Why are _you_ telling me about it?"

"I was just seeing if you were planning on going."

"Why?"

Rusty rolls his eyes. "Geez, relax Case, you're not on trial. I was just wondering if you were going."

"Of course," she replies quickly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, Cappie's going."

"Of course Cappie's going," she remarks. "What's your point?"

Rusty shoots her a look.

Casey shrugs and shoots him a small half-smile. "I'm over Cappie."

Rusty tries not to laugh. "You're uh..._over_ Cappie?"

Casey laughs. "Okay, well, I'm not _over_ Cappie. But I'm over _not_ being over Cappie...if that makes any sense."

"Not really," Rusty admits, shaking his head.

"But, uh, thanks for the _brotherly concern_ or whatever this is," Casey smirks.

Rusty nods as they arrive at the ZBZ house. "Yeah sure," he replies, smiling slightly. "Hey Case?" he calls as she starts to walk towards the front door.

"Yeah?" she questions, turning around slowly.

"Just um, well...can I give you some advice?"

She looks at him dubiously.

Rusty sighs. "Not like that, just...just _listen_, okay?"

"Okay," she remarks slowly, obviously opting to humor him.

"Look, someone once told me that if you like someone, you have to have hope, because even if you don't end up with them, you'll still know you tried your hardest," Rusty begins awkwardly. "And I know this thing with you and Cappie's been a constant game of tug-of-war for years now, but Case, if you still love him, _even a little bit_, you have to hold on to that, because karmic synergy works in mysterious ways."

Casey purses her lips. "Karmic synergy?" she questions.

Rusty nods, smiling. "Yeah."

"Rusty, thanks, but Cappie's moving on. He's over me and...."

"Casey, can you just _trust_ me on this one?" Rusty asks.

Casey's eyes widen. "Why? Did he say...."

"Casey," Rusty remarks slowly. "Just trust me."

She rolls her eyes. "I get the feeling I'm going to regret this."

* * *

"Not too shabby," Cappie remarks, patting Evan lightly on the back. "Sausage fest, but..."

"It'll be better once the girls get here," Evan winks knowingly.

Cappie grins, more out of expectation than actual excitement. For once, the prospect of girls has no affect on him. "IKKIs?" he jokes.

Evan laughs. "No, uh, actually I invited Casey and the ZBZs."

Cappie raises an eyebrow quickly. "Casey? You uh...I didn't know you and Casey were friends."

"Well, we _weren't_," Evan insists. "We met this morning at our advisor's office and then we went for lunch afterwards. _Her treat_," he jokes.

"Ha," Cappie remarks half-heartedly. "What uh, what happened to not getting close to Casey? And, you know, not letting her ruin your life again and..."

"Don't be so dramatic Cap," Evan replies quickly. "We're not dating. It's not like that. Casey and I are just friends."

Cappie nods. "Right. Friends."

"Exactly."

"So, uh, name one other instance where you and Casey have been _just friends_."

Evan rolls his eyes. "Don't do this Cap. You're making this into a bigger deal than it has to be."

"Oh really? Then why won't you answer my question?"

Evan sighs. "Casey and I were friends when you two were dating," he offers.

"But you were in love with her," Cappie points out.

"I wasn't...I...Cap, _let this go_," Evan pleads. "It was probably a pity lunch out of nostalgia. I don't exactly expect her to call me up to tell me about her day. It's just nice to let past grudges go."

"But you told me..."

"Hey, the girls are here!" Calvin calls.

Cappie spins around as the front door opens. He quickly takes a long swig from his red cup.

"_Ladies_," Evan remarks theatrically. "So glad you could make it."

Cappie's eyes seer through Evan's body as he fakes a smile and grabs Evan roughly by the shoulder. "Excuse us ladies, but Mr. Chambers and I have some business to attend to...." He tries not to notice as Casey's eyes flicker over to him.

"_Cappie_," Evan warns, eyeing him cautiously as Cappie drags him into the kitchen.

"No, I'm just _curious_," Cappie begins, sarcastically. "You practically convince me _not_ to go after Casey again and then within the span of a few days, you're back on her good side? I'm not an idiot, Chambers."

Evan rolls his eyes. "I'm not having this conversation," he remarks, shaking his head. "I told you, Casey and I are _just_...."

"What's going on?" Casey asks, stepping into the large kitchen, eyes braced in concern. She wrinkles her eyebrows, turning to Cappie for a response. "Cap?"

"I..." Cappie begins, fumbling over his words. "Well, we..."

Evan sighs, crossing his arms. "Well we were just talking about..."

"It sounded like you were arguing," Casey insists, looking between the both of them.

Evan shakes his head. "You know, maybe it's none of your business, Case. You don't have to know everything."

She jumps back, offended. "I heard my name," she remarks coldly, eyes narrowing.

Evan turns to Cappie helplessly.

Cappie shrugs. "It's nothing important."

"Then why won't you tell me?" Casey counters.

Evan scowls. "Whatever," he remarks, walking around Casey and disappearing out of the kitchen door.

Casey waits, showing no interest in moving.

Cappie stares at the ground, unsure of what to say next.

"Cap?" she starts again.

"Case, I don't know what you want me to say," he admits.

She shrugs, her tone softening slightly. "How about for once, you tell me the truth?"

* * *

reviews are love!


	7. attacking

I lied. Plain and simple. I thought this would be the last installment, but as it turns out, it's not. Don't ask me what happened, my fingers merely disagreed with my head and typed up this little number. The chapter after this will be final, however, though there may be an epilogue...

* * *

Ashleigh stumbles into the kitchen, vase in her hand, eyes wide with terror. She flicks on the lights, ready to throw the vase, when she hones in on the intruder. Her eyes narrow and she scoffs, vase falling down to the ground.

"I just came to get my things," Fisher remarks, holding his hands up innocently. Her eyes drop down to the envelope in his hand.

"What's that?" she asks quickly.

"Nothing," he insists, tucking it behind her body.

She purses her lips and marches over to him. "Give it to me," she insists. "Get your stuff and leave, but don't steal our mail!"

Fisher laughs, catching her off guard. She freezes just inches from him, not sure what to do. She'd been certain he had been up to something, but now he sat there laughing at her, as if there was something funny about him lying to her.

"What's in your hand?" she asks again, tersely.

Fisher hangs his head, presenting her with the envelope. Her name's written neatly on the front. "I was just going to leave it here...."

"Who's it from?" she asks.

He stares at her dumbly.

"Oh," she remarks, heat rising in her cheeks. "Well. Oh. Um. _Oh_."

He chuckles slightly.

"Don't laugh at me," she warns, pointing her finger at him. "_You_ screwed up and you kissed Rebecca. _You_ don't get to laugh at me."

"I didn't mean to," he begins slowly. "It's just...you're cute when you're angry."

She blushes. She really hates that she's blushing.

"This," Ashleigh begins, swiping the envelope from his hand, "_whatever_ this is, it doesn't change anything, Fisher. No matter what you wrote in here...it doesn't matter."

"Then throw it away."

Ashleigh pauses. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's mine and I'll decide what I want to do with my property," she snaps.

He slides his hands into his pockets helplessly. "You want to read it."

"None of your business."

"If you mean what you say about us being over, then whatever I wrote wouldn't matter to you," he concludes. "But it _does_."

Ashleigh backs away. "No!" she yells. "_You_ screwed up! You don't get to do this."

"Ashleigh...."

"_No,_" she insists, shaking her head. "You _cheated _on me."

Fisher steps closer. "I made the dumbest mistake I could have ever made," he admits. "And I'm _sorry_. And I know that doesn't make it better, I know it doesn't even _begin_ to fix any of this, but I promise you that I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. You are the _best _thing that's ever happened to me."

She swats at her tears frantically, trying to will herself to calm down. "It doesn't work like that," she tells him. "When someone cheats on you, you leave them."

"It's really that simple to you?" he asks.

"Well, it was that simple to _you_," she spits. "You just decided on a whim to kiss Rebecca."

Fisher sighs, meeting her glare. "I didn't know it was Rebecca. When I _did_ realize it was her, I didn't know what to do! I was drunk and...and...I...I made a mistake."

Ashleigh looks down to the ground, cheeks wet with fresh tears. "I _want_ to be over you," she manages.

"I don't ever want to get over you."

"That's not _fair_," she remarks, eyes wide.

Fisher clasps her hands in his, staring down at her gently. "No one ever said it was going to be fair, Ash. People make mistakes. They mess up. It's up to you to decide what to do about it. Are you going to shut out every person who hurts you without meaning to? You can't just...shut everyone out. I'm never going to hurt you again, Ash, I swear."

She rolls her eyes, wiping her face with her palm. "Yes, you will," she insists. "And I'm sure I'll hurt you."

Fisher's face falls. "So that's it?"

Ashleigh shakes her head, gasping slightly. "No," she replies softly. "I just...I need some time."

Fisher nods quickly. "Take as much time as you need," he insists, squeezing her hands. "Just promise me you'll think about it."

Ashleigh nods. "I will."

He kisses her forehead lightly before backing away and grabbing his things.

"Fisher?" she adds, smiling through her tears.

"Yeah?" he asks hopefully.

"You can have your job back."

* * *

"Loaded question," Cappie remarks, reaching for a beer on the counter. "If we're playing the honesty game, how about you go first?"

Casey looks back at him wildly. "What?" she snaps.

Cappie rolls his eyes, taking a long sip of his beer. He knows he's being an ass right now, but he can't stop himself. All he can think about is that damn freshman dance. All he can picture is Evan with Casey. Three years later and that old jealousy's still there. It never really went away.

"So all that crap about making your own future and switching majors and _finding yourself_, that was all just an act so that Evan would see you could stand on your own two feet without him?" he asks.

Casey looks like she's just been slapped. "_What_?"

"Oh, come on Case, secret's out," he remarks, shaking his head In disbelief. "Lunch with Evan Chambers? Mixers with Omega Chi? God, it's like you've reverted back to your freshman year self. No, it's _worse_. It's like you're Franny."

Casey's eyes narrow to slits. "Who the hell do you think you are, saying all this? You don't even _know_ what you're talking about, as _usual, _and yet you'd rather act on your half-formed, idiotic assumptions than actually _try_ to find out the truth."

"_Oh please_," Cappie mutters. "Like it's not _that_ obvious. You've been pining for Evan this entire time and...."

Casey laughs viciously, scoffing at him. "You're _insane_!" she remarks, ripping the beer bottle out of his hand. "You know what I think Cap? I think deep down, _you want_ me to be in love with Evan. You know why? Because it gives you an easy out. Because in your own twisted, little head, it makes you the victim and me the bad guy, and it saves you from actually having to come to terms with your own feelings. You _want_ to be alone because you're too scared of actually admitting that you might want to be with me. So you hide behind your precious beer bottles and witty jokes and pretend to be unapologetically happy all of the time, because the truth is, you're _afraid._"

Cappie stares intensely at her, watching as she finishes her speech and downs the rest of his beer herself.

"And you know what else?" she remarks before exiting. "Max was right. You _are _a douche."

* * *

"Cap!"

"Go _away_, Spitter."

"No, Cap, _listen_."

"Spitter, you're supposed to be the genius boy with this ridiculously high IQ and yet when given a _simple_ command that any dog or toddler can follow, you simply cease to comprehend...."

"_Cap_!" Rusty yells, grabbing Cappie's shoulders. "_Listen to me_."

Cappie sighs, sinking down on the porch steps, bottle in tow. Rusty sits down next to him, eyeing Cappie anxiously.

"What?" Cappie asks at last, seeming completely uninterested.

Rusty sighs. He knows Cappie isn't going to make this easy. But he has to try, in the interest of his big brother. "You have to let me tell you about what's going on with Evan and Casey."

Cappie laughs sardonically. "Oh, _I'll_ tell you what's going on with Evan and Casey! She's probably at home right now, trying on dress suits and shit for when she becomes the next Mrs. Chambers...."

"Yes, we _all_ heard your version," Rusty replies, cutting Cappie off.

"Loud?"

"Very."

"Shit."

"Will you please listen?"

"Fine," Cappie agrees reluctantly.

"Jordan told me that Casey came to the Omega Chi house today and practically begged Evan to invite the ZBZs to this party. Apparently, the ZBZs are slipping from their number one spot and Casey knew that mixing with the Omega Chis would help them regain the lead."

"Yeah, _whatever_," Cappie mutters.

Rusty climbs to his feet. "Oh come on! You know that what I'm telling you's true! Casey would _never_ get back with Evan!

"Spitter, you're just being naive. We'd both _like _to think that this was all an innocent ploy to help her sorority house, but Casey's obviously trying to win Evan back and..."

"Then why's Evan making out with Rebecca?!" Rusty asks aggravatedly.

Cappie's head snaps up. "What?"

Rusty nods, gesturing to the front door. "Right inside those doors."

"Evan and...Rebecca?"

"Misery loves...the miserable?" Rusty suggests.

"So if Evan and Rebecca are together, then...."

"Then...?" Rusty prompts.

"Then I really am a douche."

"Yeah," Rusty agrees, staring as Cappie rises to his feet.

"I gotta go find her!" Cappie insists.

"And don't _ruin_ it this time!" Rusty calls.

* * *

She's fuming. No, she's upset. No, she feels betrayed? That's not right either.

She's not sure exactly what she's feeling as she bursts into the ZBZ house, palms shaking and feet unsteady.

Her eyes instantly meet Ashleigh's and the two girls, for once, appear to be undergoing the same set of uncontrollable emotions.

They're both in love with _idiots_.

"Cookie?" Ashleigh asks, extending a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.

Casey snatches one, biting the end off of it quickly. "_You_ baked?" she asked, her surprise taking priority over her duress. "Do you even know where the oven _is_?"

Ashleigh grins in spite of her sour mood, rolling her eyes nonchalantly. The joke ends quickly though, as Ashleigh's face quickly morphs back into one of anger and frustration. "Fisher made them," she says through clenched teeth.

"Ah," Casey nods, indicating that her friend need say no more. "Well, in that case, we should plunge them down the garbage disposal."

"Or throw them at his car," Ashleigh offers.

"Or throw them at Cappie," Casey chimes in.

They each reach for a cookie, ready to demolish Fisher's unwanted act of kindness, but the sweet smell of bittersweet chocolate brings them back to their senses.

"Or," Casey begins, eyes dancing around the tray of chocolately goodness. "We could use them as a catharsis of sorts."

"How so?" Ashleigh asks, all but licking her lips.

"Well, we could eat them with malice," Casey poses. "You know, pretend that each time we bite into them, we're _really_ biting off their heads."

Ashleigh's eyes widen. "I like catharsis!" she declares, shoving another circular mound of dough into her mouth.

Casey grins, polishing off the rest of her cookie.

"So?" Casey begins, once they're nestled on the floor of the foyer, tray of cookies sitting in between them. "What did Fisher want?"

Ashleigh shrugs, chocolate dripping from her fingertips. She licks it off idly, pretending not to care. "Me," she replies, looking up at Casey slowly.

"Oh," Casey nods, snapping her cookie in half delicately. "And what did you say?"

"I told him that he messed with the wrong ZBZ," Ashleigh began slowly. "I told him to get lost. I told him he was still fired and that he was a creep and that..."

Her voice drifts off and Casey looks up knowingly. "_Ash_," she prods, smiling to indicate that it's okay for her to continue.

Ashleigh sighs, stuffing another piece of cookie into her mouth. "I told him he could have his job back. I told him that I _wanted_ to be over him."

"But you're not," Casey nods, licking chocolate from her lips.

"I'm _weak_," Ashleigh remarks, lowering her eyes sadly. "Secret's out."

Casey shakes her head. "No you're not," she insists. "You're _human_."

"When someone cheats on you..." Ashleigh begins firmly.

"Ash, _stop_," Casey orders. "Stop following rules. When your heart's involved, there are no rules."

Ashleigh looks up helplessly. "I don't want to never see him again," she admits bitterly.

Casey shoots her a sympathetic smile. "When I first stayed with Evan, I was pissed," she begins. "Not so much at him, but more so at Frannie for making me have to deal with his shit. But, I _loved_ him and when we finally talked about everything, our insecurities and our mistakes, it was _good_. He wasn't the guy for me, Ash, but at the time, all I knew was that I loved him and he loved me. People...they're going to make mistakes, and we hurt the people we love because we're scared or confused or just unsure. Taking Fisher back doesn't make you weak Ash. It's easy to walk away, to play the victim card and let go of him. It's not easy to forgive someone you trusted for trampling all over your heart. It's _hard_. But it's not impossible."

"You don't think I'm an idiot for wanting to give him another chance?"

Casey shakes her head. "I've been dating my way around Cappie for _three _years," she jokes. "And you expect me to call _you_ an idiot?"

Ashleigh grins. "So," she begins slowly, eyeing another cookie. "What did he do this time?"

"He thought that Evan and I..." Casey begins, cut off by the loud pounding on the front door. She spins around slowly, climbing to her feet defensively. Ashleigh reaches for the vase she used earlier, ready to attack the culprit.

"Don't worry, I know karate!" Ashleigh assures her as they approach the door slowly, eyes wide with terror.

The door swings open wildly and before Casey can even tell what's happening, Ashleigh pushes past her, cracking the vase down above the intruder's head.

"Take that!" Ashleigh yells as the vase shatters into pieces and Cappie stumbles quickly to the floor. Ashleigh jumps back quickly, turning to Casey in alarm. "Oh, my god, I killed him!" she shrieks.

Casey scrambles to the floor, reaching for Cappie's chest. "No, you knocked him out," she insists, feeling the pulsation of his heartbeat through his clothes. "Where the hell did you learn that?"

Ashleigh shrugs innocently. "Lara Croft?" she offers, looking petrified.

Casey grins quickly, in spite of the situation. "Help me get him up," she insists, struggling to lift him by the shoulders. With Ashleigh's help, they're able to move him into the sitting room, propping his head up against the couch.

"Cap?" Casey begins slowly, slapping his cheek lightly.

"Ooh ooh!" Ashleigh shouts, pointing. "It's working! I think he's opening his eyes!"

Casey turns back to Cappie, heart racing. "Cap?" she begins again, as Ashleigh sucks in her breath.

* * *

So I had this story ended. I really, truly did. But I wasn't satisfied with the way it all wrapped up, and so, I rewrote the chapter and this is what happened! But the next chapter is the final chapter (since Casey and Cappie are now going to have their face to face conversation) but I may post an epilogue after the final chapter.

So...who else here loves ninja Ash? I'm totally smitten with her. Haha.

reviews are love!


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